Moments
by luna velvet
Summary: A collection of random Olitz one shots & ficlets. ***Updated with It Ends With Us: VI***
1. Just Tonight

_**A/N: Just a little** **one shot I wrote based on 7x08, so there are spoilers ahead. This was possibly one of the saddest scenes Olivia and Fitz have ever had together, in my opinion... But it gave me hope for them. Call me an optimist, but I've not given up on their love just yet. I've put an M rating on it but this one is very mild and more for future one shots I hope to write and add to this collection. Anyway, let me know your thoughts!**_

* * *

 **Just Tonight**

The last person Fitz had expected to show up at the door of his hotel room was Olivia Pope, looking more broken and lost than he'd ever seen her before.

But here she was.

His brows drew together as he took in the sight of her, deep concern coloring his expression and filling him with a cavernous need to wrap her in his arms and never let her go again. But he couldn't, especially not after their encounter a few days previously, when he'd offered his condolences and wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but she'd turned around and crushed any hope he had left for her, before tearing the bottle of scotch out of his hands and slamming the door in his face. He'd known then she was beyond help; that any attempt he'd made to come back and 'save' her was futile.

Still, Fitz wasn't about to do the same to Olivia as she had done to him days ago. Without breathing a word, he moved aside. She seemed to hesitate for a few seconds, like she didn't know what she was doing there, but then she tentatively stepped into the room. She angled herself so that she was facing slightly away from him, still avoiding his gaze as she had been doing since the moment she'd arrived.

He closed the door and watched her for a moment, keeping a careful distance between them. He could hear her take trembling breaths and knew she was fighting to keep her emotions on lockdown.

"Do you wanna talk?" He asked gently and she shook her head in lieu of a verbal response.

"You wanna sit?" He tried once more and she almost met his gaze, but something in her stopped her from doing so and she shook her head again.

Olivia inhaled an unsteady breath and Fitz could tell she was barely hanging on by a thread, ready to crack and shatter into a million pieces at any moment.

"Liv…" He started, but he was momentarily at a loss for words and didn't know how to finish.

She visibly struggled to keep herself from breaking down and then she gave in, pressing her forehead against his shoulder and as he rested his chin on top of her head, she buried her face in his chest. For a few seconds she just inhaled and exhaled shaky breaths; he felt her tremble weakly against him and without giving it much thought he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in closer and squeezing her tight to let her know he was going nowhere. His hands splayed out protectively on her body, keeping her steady as he gently rocked her from side to side.

"What do you need?" He asked her quietly. As she breathed unsteadily against him, he lifted a hand to stroke her hair, patiently waiting for an answer.

She eased back slightly and tilted her head up. Her voice was nothing but a feeble whisper. "Just tonight."

Fitz understood what Olivia was asking from him; they'd both come to one another for comfort sex before, but this… This was different. She met his gaze for a brief second, finally allowing him to see the unfathomable grief glazed over in her sad, dark eyes. He _felt_ her pain the moment their eyes met; it caused him to physically ache right down to his core. He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand so delicately and then lowered his lips to hers, stilling them with a tender kiss.

And then, when he saw she wasn't fighting against him, he kissed her again. Her restraint was gone and her hands moved restlessly over his cheeks, down his chest as she fumbled to unbutton his shirt. He picked her up with ease and she gasped against his lips as he set her down on the desk. He took over, stripping himself out of his shirt and she unfastened her jacket. Their frantic kisses only stopped for a brief moment and then she pulled him back in, cupping his face as she pressed her lips to his.

Olivia allowed Fitz to undress her, his gentle hands peeled away her clothes until she was left naked before him and he leaned down, trailing kisses all over her newly bared skin. He noticed that he could count her ribs and he knew his concerns for her were valid, but he said nothing in the moment; it wasn't his place and she wasn't looking for a lecture about weight loss and healthy eating, she came to him wanting to forget. What it was that she needed to forget exactly, Fitz couldn't pinpoint. All he knew was that she was in way deeper than he could've anticipated when he'd left Vermont following a troubling conversation of deep concern with her _father,_ of all people and it killed him to see her slipping further, allowing the darkness to consume her; now it was apparently taking its toll on her physically, too.

He was drawn out of his thoughts when she coaxed him up to meet her lips again. A tiny sob escaped her throat as he held her face, he felt hot tears wetting her cheeks and brushed them away with his thumbs. As he kissed her with everything he had, trying to make her forget whatever pain she was suffering, he was vaguely aware of her unbuckling his belt and tugging his pants and boxers down around his ankles. She broke off their kiss, wrapping her thighs snugly around his hips and he suppressed a groan.

"Please." It was just one word but it wasn't easy to hear the desperation in her voice.

Fitz kicked off his shoes and carefully stepped out of his discarded clothes, then carried Olivia to the bed. He laid her out beneath him on the mattress and reclaimed her lips in a kiss so delicate he felt her shiver as she tangled her fingers in his soft hair.

He took his time with her, choosing a much slower pace than what she wanted. He knew this kind of sex was what she truly needed; to understand that he was there and he was patient and he was going to love her even when she didn't believe she deserved it. He was going to love her even when she fought so desperately against him.

When he slowly pushed inside her, inch by agonizing inch, her hips bucked restlessly and he gently pinned her back down, hushing her with soft whispers until she relented and let him take care of her.

* * *

Olivia cried afterward.

Fitz had kissed her one final time and left her under the covers while he cleaned up in the bathroom. When he returned with a damp cloth to take care of her too, she was quietly sobbing, her whole body convulsing with uncontrollable tremors. It was clear she'd just barely managed to hold it together and the second she was alone she'd crumbled and completely fallen apart.

He did the only thing he thought may just help her a little; he pulled her into his arms. At first she struggled, bunching her fists up against his chest as she fought back weakly. Eventually, she gave into him, letting him hold her as she wept.

The truth was, Olivia could never hide from Fitz.

She'd been trying so hard to avoid him since he returned to D.C. because allowing him to see her, inevitably meant that he'd end up really _seeing_ her. Even before his knowledge of her involvement in B613 had come to light, he'd felt her hesitance to let him anywhere near her. But now he could tell she couldn't keep up the façade of pretending she was fine without him; she wasn't. It didn't matter how many times she screamed in his face and blamed him for the destruction and tragedy she'd caused, she still needed him.

He cradled her in his arms for hours, whispering the occasional calming word in her ear and gently stroking her back, gradually soothing her heart-wrenching sobs until she was able to sleep. He knew that in the morning her guard would be back up and she'd pretend she was fine, that she wanted him out of her life and that she had every intention of making his time in D.C. hell until he left. But she could hurl all the vitriolic insults and act out of spite to make things difficult for him, he'd still be there. He'd walk through fire for her, move mountains for her, go to the ends of the earth for her because his love for her was truly the definition of unconditional.

Olivia stirred against Fitz's chest in the early hours of the morning, when the sun was just beginning to peek through the curtains. A look of hazy confusion and disorientation washed over her face as she inched back, but then upon seeing Fitz's face it was replaced with relief; she was safe in his arms. And then the realization came as the grief hit her so hard it caused fresh tears to form in her eyes. He waited for her walls to come back up and for her to push him away, gather her clothes and leave, but she didn't move from the protection of his embrace.

"Fitz…" She started softly, her voice barely a whisper.

"Tell me what you need, Liv." He insisted as he cupped her jaw, staring deeply into her glassy eyes with his soulful blue ones.

"I – I…" She stammered for a second, swallowing hard.

"It's okay, take your time." His words seemed to soothe her and he watched her breathe for a few seconds.

And then Olivia said the six words that Fitz had never expected to hear, but that he'd been hoping she'd say ever since he returned from Vermont.

"I need you to help me."


	2. I Believe in You and Me

**A/N: I've had writer's block with Scars We Carry and I couldn't get this idea out of my head after watching 7x14. It's a little different to my usual style but I hope you like it! Please leave me a review and let me know what you think, I'd really appreciate it!**

 **Contains mild spoilers from season 7.**

* * *

She isn't sure when the late night phone calls became a fundamental part of their daily routines again – or rather, she isn't sure when she began lying awake, waiting for his calls. It's impossibly hard to pinpoint when they fell back into old habits; the last few months have been such a surreal blur.

The numbers on the alarm clock sitting at her bedside change to 10:00 and right on cue, her phone starts to ring. Her breath catches a little because she's still surprised that after _everything_ he wants to talk to her, every night, without fail.

"Hey." Olivia's voice is soft as she answers him. She doesn't dare say _their_ word – 'hi' – to him anymore, not after the last time when he'd responded so coldly it almost broke her.

"How are you?" Fitz asks and she can hear the grin in his voice. An uncontrollable smile of her own touches her lips.

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Good. Tell me about your day, how was the teaching gig? Was it Harvard today or is that next week? Oh wait, it was NYU today, right?"

She's immediately touched; he's been paying attention _and_ he actually still cares. Her heart falters as she processes that information.

"Liv?"

"I'm here, sorry. It was NYU today, yes… It was a long day but I enjoyed it." She wedges the phone between her shoulder and her ear as she fluffs her pillows and settles in. "It feels good, Fitz. I forgot how rewarding my job used to be, how much I loved it."

"That's great, Liv. It sounds like…" There's a pause at the other end of the line.

"Like what?"

"Like… You're finding _yourself_ again."

She draws her bottom lip between her teeth for a second, trying hard to keep her emotions under control because he still _sees_ her. He always has done. Even when she can't see herself.

"It feels that way to me, too."

* * *

Sometimes Olivia thinks about stopping by at Fitz's offices with coffee or takeout food. She wonders if he'd appreciate the gesture and want to spend time with her, or if it would just ruin any progress she'd made with him?

It's hard to hold back, _especially_ when it comes to Fitz, but she's paralyzed by fear. She'd never forgive herself for pushing him too far and destroying any semblance of a friendship they've managed to form. Even when he tells her _'_ _Don't be a stranger, Olivia Pope'_ with the hint of a smile on his face, she plays it safe. She sticks to phone calls that _he_ makes, allowing him control over how things play out between them.

* * *

The Thursday her phone rings twenty minutes earlier than usual, everything changes.

It's not Fitz like she's expecting. She's instantly filled with disappointment to find that it's not his smooth voice speaking to her on the other end of the line, but she doesn't have time to dwell on it.

"Your father was taken to James Madison Hospital this evening. I'm sorry to tell you but his prognosis isn't good; we don't believe he's going to make it through the night."

The revelation knocks the air out of her lungs and her chest feels like it's going to collapse in on itself, her heart _aches_.

* * *

Olivia goes through the motions of driving home, arriving back from the hospital in the early hours of Saturday morning. The elevator doors slide open on her floor and she stops in her tracks as soon as she sees Fitz standing outside her apartment, surrounded by his security service detail.

"Liv, I'm so sorry."

Seeing his sad, sympathetic eyes staring back at her is enough to bring her to her knees as her intense grief finally hits her. She inhales a sharp breath and crumbles into hysterical sobs. She's vaguely aware of his arms around her, carrying her with ease and she clings to him desperately, it's all she can do.

* * *

Sometime later she realizes she must've given into emotional and physical exhaustion as she startles awake, glaring at the sunlight pouring in through her bedroom window. It takes her a second to remember and then she does and it _hurts_. The way it tears her apart inside is palpable and she's gasping for air, shuddering and struggling to catch her breath through frenetic, choking sobs.

"Hey, hey, I'm here. It's okay. I've got you." Fitz folds his arms around her, loosely tucking her against his chest. "Can you breathe with me, Liv?"

His hand lifts her chin and gently cups her jaw, forcing her to look at him. It takes her a few minutes to steady her breathing but he's patient, stroking her back in soothing circles. When she's relatively calm, aside from the occasional muted sob, she shakes her head softly.

"How did you know?" Her voice is almost inaudible when she finally speaks.

"You didn't answer my calls for two nights, so I was a little concerned… And then I heard. I thought you might need somebody." His brows furrow and he strokes his thumbs over her cheekbones, staring at her with unrelenting sadness in his eyes. "How did it happen?"

Her eyes slam shut and she has to take a moment to go over it in her head, to just _breathe_ again. "It was cancer. I don't – he didn't even tell me he was sick. I didn't know."

"I'm sorry, Liv." He sighs, squeezing her gently in an attempt to comfort her, letting her know he's there and he's listening.

"When I got the call I thought... I thought somebody had hurt him. I never even thought about the possibility that it could be nobody's fault." She hesitates and when her red-rimmed eyes open again they're glazed over with fresh tears. "You didn't have to – I wouldn't have asked you to…"

"I know." In a moment of tenderness, he leans close to press his lips to her forehead. "It's okay. I'd be here whether you asked me to be or not."

Her thoughts drift briefly to the time he'd shown up at her door when they believed Quinn was dead. He'd been there for her even when she'd screamed in his face and later used him for comfort sex. She knows he's right, he's _always_ there when she needs him; whether she thinks she deserves it or not he's _there_.

"You should eat. Let me cook for you."

She opens her mouth to object, but she realizes she can't remember the last time she ate. So she lets him carefully detangle himself from her and he leaves her bedroom, heading in search of her severely underused kitchen.

* * *

Fitz stays with her and for once, she allows him to take care of her. He makes her chicken noodle soup and they share a mountainous bowl of popcorn even by her standards; he's just glad to see she's eating.

Later he draws her a bath. He adds her favorite lavender and chamomile bath oil to the hot water, knowing she uses it when she's at her most stressed and when she's struggling to sleep. Just as he turns to leave her alone in the bathroom, she reaches for his hand and lightly grasps it with her own.

"Will you…" Her breath catches in her throat and her brows knit together. "Just sit with me?"

He looks surprised for a second, like he wasn't expecting her to ask for something so simple, but then he nods. "I have to go make some calls but I'll be right back."

When he returns, Olivia's lying in the bath with her head tipped back and eyes half-lidded, looking the most relaxed she has done since he arrived. He refrains from allowing his gaze to drift to her naked body submerged in the tub and instead turns away, settling himself on the tiled floor, leaning his back against the bath.

"I checked my phone before… I had a reminder for tomorrow." She swallows, tilting her head to the side to catch his gaze. "Sunday dinner."

He doesn't interrupt her, sensing she needs to talk. Instead, he gently takes her hand resting on the edge of the tub, squeezing her palm reassuringly.

"It was going to be the first one I'd managed to fit in for months. I wish…" She trails off, exhaling an uneven breath. The guilt is tying her stomach in knots. "I wish I'd known."

"Liv, don't do that to yourself. There's nothing you could've done."

"But if I hadn't been focusing on myself…"

"Don't." His tone is serious, matching the intensity of his gaze. "Do you know what your father told me when he came to see me in Vermont? _The woman that we love is slipping away_. He was terrified that we were going to lose you… But these past few months I've seen how hard you've been working to get back to yourself. I know that he would've been so proud of you."

The weight of his words looms over them; they're silent and she watches him lift her hand to his lips as he presses the gentlest of kisses to her knuckles.

* * *

"Vermont Law School have asked me to do a talk."

" _Oh_."

It's three weeks after her father's funeral when Olivia receives the invitation and she stares at the email for fifteen minutes before she calls Fitz.

"Are you going to do it?"

"I'm considering it. I want to."

"Really?"

"You sound surprised…"

"I just thought…" He pauses and she implicitly knows he's trying to choose his words carefully. "After last time… I can't say I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to go back."

She sighs. The intervention had been one of the most difficult experiences of her life; to feel like she was completely alone because everybody had turned against her – even _Fitz_ – and knowing she'd been deceived by him and trapped in the house he'd built for her, for them, was traumatic, to say the least.

"In retrospect, I know you didn't do it to hurt me. There was no way I would've stopped going down the path I was on if you hadn't done something drastic." She muses quietly, reaching for the glass of wine on her coffee table. "I just… Wish it hadn't been at the house."

"I'm sorry. I wish there had been time to figure out something else… I hate that you think of the house that way now." The guilt tainting his words is difficult to hear.

"I don't… Not completely." She shakes her head softly, pausing to take another sip of her wine. "When I think about the house I try to focus on that night we shared there, the first time you showed it to me."

It's dangerous ground to be treading on, referring to one of the most heated, soul-shattering nights of passion they'd ever shared together, even in the vaguest terms. When he doesn't immediately respond she sets her glass back down, deciding the alcohol has loosened her tongue too much and she's pushed beyond the unspoken boundaries they've set themselves.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"It's okay. I still think about that night too, sometimes."

That leaves her stunned speechless and a little breathless. By some miracle they've managed to salvage a friendship; they've kept it platonic, rarely ever daring to speak about their history unless _he_ is the one to initiate it.

"When is the teaching gig, Liv?" He asks when she remains silent and she's grateful for him drawing the conversation back to a safer topic.

"Two weeks, on Friday."

He's quiet for a few seconds, she can only hear the tapping of his keyboard in the background. "How would you like to come spend some time at the house? My schedule isn't too busy."

Her mouth falls open and she inhales an audible gasp. "What?"

"No pressure," He quickly responds, like he's suddenly trying to cover himself. "I just thought it'd be nice to spend time with you and for a while, I've been wanting to get back to Vermont for a weekend break."

"Can I think about it?"

"Sure."

* * *

Fitz catches Olivia's eye as he not-so-discreetly sneaks into the back of the auditorium, flashing a devastatingly gorgeous grin at her. The way he's looking at her makes her heart flutter wildly in her ribcage and she has to take a second to compose herself. He and the secret service agents accompanying him have already drawn enough attention to themselves to warrant a class filled with excitable chatter and turning heads.

"It appears one of my most high profile clients and former bosses has decided to join us." She announces, gesturing to where he's seated at the back of the room and giving him a welcoming nod. "Mr President."

"Carry on, I'm just here to learn a thing or two about crisis management." His teasing is good-natured, the smirk on his lips and the glint in his eyes telling her more than his words ever could.

Ever the professional Olivia finishes her talk, though she's distracted by his presence. Thankfully the class, too, is sidetracked by the former president and she hopes her nerves weren't evident to them.

After, she talks to a few students who approach her and packs up her things, throwing furtive glances at Fitz as he speaks to a small crowd of people eager to meet him. He's the dream politician, the man she voted for, treating every single person with respect and showing genuine interest in each conversation he has, no matter how brief. She can't help but smile because she's _missed_ seeing this side of him.

It makes her feel wonderfully nostalgic.

* * *

"You know, you could've given me a warning you'd be showing up for class. I could have reserved you a front row seat." Olivia's lips curve with the hint of a smile as she lifts a glass of wine to her lips.

"But where would the fun be in that? I wanted to surprise you." Fitz has that teasing grin back on his face, the one that makes heat rise to her cheeks.

He refills his own glass before turning his attention back to the dinner, opening the door of the stove to check on the boeuf bourguignon warming in the oven.

Olivia had been apprehensive about returning to the house and Fitz had sensed that, of course. But he had managed to alleviate her worries on the drive over, distracting her with easy conversation, telling her all about a new project he's starting at the institute. She'd only felt the anxiety creeping back in when he pulled his car up the drive and the house came into view.

"You okay?" He'd asked softly as she stood hovering on the doorstep.

"I thought I was over this…" Her voice trembled and her breath hitched in her throat.

"You're safe, Liv. Trust me. It's alright." He waited patiently with his hand extended to her.

She'd hesitated and then took a deep breath, reaching out to curl her fingers around his.

And now she finds herself leaning against a counter in his kitchen, watching him cook dinner for her and it feels _so_ good. It feels _right_ , though she doesn't dare let that thought take root in her head.

As they eat dinner, conversation flows easily. It feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders, just being able to spend time with him like this again. But soon it's time for her to leave and he walks her out to the helicopter waiting to depart in the backyard.

"You did great today, Liv. You always do," He admits with a tilt of his head and a slow grin. "But seeing it first hand… _God_ , it's good to see your eyes light up again."

"I've missed you." She doesn't mean to say it but she can't stop the words from spilling out of her mouth.

His eyebrows lift slightly. He's taken aback for a second and then he smiles again. "I've missed you too."

She exhales a soft sigh and relief rushes through her body, filling her with warmth. He steps towards her and closes the remaining distance between them.

"It's been good to see you." His voice is low and tender; he gazes down at her fondly.

"Thanks for dinner." She mumbles, trying to smile but his proximity to her is making her head spin.

Her pulse races as she realizes that he's leaning in, that she can feel his hot breath on her skin and his eyes are lining her lips. Before he can kiss her, she turns her head and his lips land awkwardly on her cheek.

"I should get going."

He clears his throat as she pulls away. "Yeah..."

She climbs into the helicopter without saying another word or throwing a second glance his way.

* * *

Their almost-kiss hangs between them; a week passes and they don't speak. Olivia spends days going over and over what happened, telling herself she was doing the right thing by pulling away.

Friday afternoon quickly comes around; Fitz is hosting a fundraising gala and she paces around her apartment, restless. He'd invited her weeks before and she had planned to go, however with everything up in the air with them she's _nervous_ … But it's an excited kind of nervous because if she's honest with herself it feels as though they've turned back time and she can't wait to see him again.

It takes just one look at the elegant, off shoulder ivory gown hanging in her closet for her decision to be made. She gets herself ready, applying light makeup and perfecting her sleek hair. Butterflies flutter in her stomach as she steps into her dress for the evening; the hem reaches the floor, the neckline sits an inch below her collarbones and it hugs _every_ curve.

She's searching her jewelry box for a pair of diamond stud earrings when she lays eyes on the ring. _His_ ring. She's kept it tucked away all this time because it was too painful to look at.

She toys with Doux Bébé, twirling it in her palm for a moment, then finally slides it down her finger.

* * *

"Wanna dance?"

Her heart skips a beat when she hears his voice behind her. She peers over her shoulder to find him standing there in the most perfectly fitted tuxedo, hand outstretched to her and she takes it without a second thought, letting him lead her away from the table she's been seated at for the evening and weaving them through crowds of people. When they reach the dance floor he faces her and looks into her eyes for the first time in a week.

"You look beautiful, Liv." He murmurs lowly, sliding a hand to rest on her back as he begins to sway her to the music.

"Thank you." Her fingertips graze over his neck as she adjusts his collar then rests her palm on his shoulder. "You look great too. I've missed seeing you in a tux."

"I didn't expect for you to show." He states coolly after a while.

"I wanted to show my support for you." Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Even after I tried to kiss you?" He dares to ask, narrowing his gaze.

A quiet sigh escapes her. "I didn't want you to do something you'd later come to regret. I want you to be sure that it's not a mistake and you're not just horny or lonely."

"Do you really think I'd just _use_ you if I was horny?" He bristles, the hurt in his tone evident.

She looks away, avoiding his intense stare. "Well, I did the last time we were together."

"You and I both know that's not what it was about. That wasn't just sex. It never is with us."

"And that's exactly the reason we can't keep doing this. It's not fair to either of us."

"So tell me, why are you wearing my ring again?" His question makes her heart falter for a second.

"I… I don't know." It's a lie and they both know it.

"I noticed as soon as I saw you tonight. You're wearing it for me."

She finally meets his gaze, staring back at him with soulful eyes. "That might be true. But after everything we've been through, everything I've put you through…"

"Liv, please."

"I wanted you to kiss me, I did, but that would've been selfish."

He fixes her with a look, his stare unrelenting. "You're scared."

"What?"

"After all these years you're still running away from us."

"I'm not, I –"

"I can't believe I didn't see it until now. I thought we were past this, but you're still scared." He shakes his head, heaving a deep sigh of frustration. "That's never going to change, is it?"

They both realize they're no longer dancing, just standing frozen together, clutching onto each other in the middle of the dance floor. She breaks away, backing out of his reach.

"We can't do this here."

"Olivia, don't you dare walk away from me." He steps towards her, keeping his voice low to avoid drawing attention to them.

"We'll talk later, I promise." She reassures gently, feeling his anger rising. "But not here, okay? This is your night."

Before he can say another word she slips away, heading for the exit.

* * *

It's midnight when he calls and she's just climbing into bed with a glass of wine.

"I'm sorry I left the way I did." She offers when he doesn't speak. "I wasn't running, I just didn't want to ruin your gala and pull focus from it."

"Okay."

"I don't want you to think I'm scared of committing to you, afraid of being trapped by a relationship with you because…. Oh god, that couldn't be farther from the truth." Her heart aches at that thought, that he could even believe it for one second.

"So what's changed?"

"Me. _I have_. And that's why I'm scared… I'm not the same person anymore."

He sighs deeply on the other end of the line. "You've been through a lot but that change isn't a bad thing, Liv. Since you left the White House you've spent so much time working hard to do the right thing, to be a good person. _That_ is the woman I fell for."

She feels her throat tighten with emotion and swallows hard. "I can't promise that I won't hurt you again and I'm terrified of that."

"And I can't promise you that either. But I can say I will never intentionally hurt you and I believe the same of you."

"I don't deserve you." It's not just a figure of speech, she really does believe it. "After everything I've done… All the ways I caused you pain… You can let that go?"

"Olivia, do you really think I would've been there after your father passed away if I was holding a grudge?" He falls silent for a moment, allowing the weight of his words to sink in. She doesn't answer him right away, but she doesn't need to. "Do you still love me?"

"What?" Her breath catches.

"Answer the question: do you still love me?"

"Yes."

"Say it."

Her eyes slam shut as she tries to contain the tears threatening to spill. "I still love you."

"Then that's all that matters." He states simply and it's hard not to believe he means it. "You can't spend the rest of your life punishing yourself. I won't let you."

"Fitz?"

"Yes?"

"Can you come over? I want to see you." She asks timidly, her voice soft. And then she hears him laugh. "What's funny?"

"I'm standing at your door."

"You're not. I don't believe –"

She's cut off by a loud knock and she can't help but breathe out a giggle as she throws the sheets back, practically running down the hall because she can't get to him quick enough. When she pulls open the door, he's standing there still dressed in his tux from the evening but he's removed the jacket along with the bow tie and loosened a few buttons of his shirt. There's a genuine grin on his face as her gaze locks on his.

"Hi."

She grins back uncontrollably, her eyes glistening with joyful tears. "Hi."

His lips are on hers in an instant and the door closes behind them before she even has time to take a breath. Their kisses are sweet and languorous, filled with satisfied relief. Her hands find their way into his hair as he reaches down to pick her up in his arms, walking down the hall to her bedroom. He lowers her onto the bed, pushing apart her thighs to settle himself between them.

"You're wearing my shirt." He comments against her lips, toying with the hem of his navy t-shirt that's ridden up to her stomach.

"Hmm?" She's distracted by the intoxicating feel of his kisses, staring up at him with a dazed expression as he props himself up on one hand.

"I wondered where this went, I had no idea you kept it." He muses with a faint smile, stroking his thumb over her hipbone.

"It stopped smelling like you a long time ago, but it helps me sleep."

"Really?"

She nods coyly as she sneaks a hand beneath his shirt to caress the warm skin there, laying her palm over his heart. "Makes it feel like you're close to me."

" _Livvie_ ," His nickname for her comes out in an adoring sigh. "Can we make love now? It's been so long."

"Yes."

They take their time to undress each other, pausing to kiss newly exposed skin. The passionate hunger is still there, but they both know the only way they'll satisfy their craving for each other is if they take an unhurried pace. His hands roam her body with slow, teasing strokes, rediscovering every sensitive spot that makes her tremble. When his lips move to her chest and he presses lingering kisses over her breasts, her back arches with a breathy moan and he moves a hand to her curved spine, keeping her arched against him. He sucks her nipple into his mouth and sinks his teeth into it.

" _Aah_ – softly, baby. Take it easy." She hisses between her teeth and breathes out a laugh, delicately guiding him with her hands on his cheeks. It's then that he knows what she wants; time-consuming, sweet, gentle sex and decides to indulge her, saving rough sex for later.

He takes his erection into his hand and lines himself up between her thighs. Her head tips back with a shallow moan as he presses into the slick heat of her body. He has to take a minute, resting his forehead against hers; the exquisite feeling of her so wet, clenching tightly around him is almost too much. Lifting her chin up, she claims his lips with hers, kissing him with everything she has.

It suddenly hits her that they haven't shared such an intense moment of intimacy like this in a painfully long time and tears spring to her eyes. She holds him closer, cupping his jaw tenderly as they kiss and he finally begins to move, pulling his hips back.

"I missed you… Missed you so much…" She whispers through tears, keeping their lips fused together.

It's then that she feels wetness sliding beneath her thumbs and she opens her eyes to see he's just as moved as she is, overwhelmed tears falling down his own cheeks. She trails her lips over his face, kissing away his tears while he rolls their hips together. A soft whimper escapes her when he hooks an arm under her leg and plunges deeper into her, taking her to the hilt.

They move together, totally in sync with one another's needs. The sex is drawn out with neither of them ever wanting it to end, holding a kind of intensity that leaves them both lightheaded, gasping for air between desperate kisses.

When Olivia eventually comes she's too drunk on _him_ to know how long they've been making love but he's right there with her, coaxing her through it with his thumb circling her clit and she almost blacks out from the power of her orgasm. Fitz soon follows, dropping his head to her shoulder, panting unevenly against her collarbone as he falls apart.

* * *

It takes hours before they're both truly sated, but she still can't stop dotting lazy kisses over his chest, neck, and face. Her lips linger on his and curve with a smile when she feels his arms holding her tighter against him. With a reluctant sigh, she eventually pulls back and folds her arms in front of her on his chest, resting her chin on them. His brows knit together as he studies her expression carefully.

"What's wrong?"

"Are we –" She hesitates, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth.

"You can ask, it's alright."

"Are we going to be okay?"

Fitz cradles her face in his hands, stroking his thumbs over her cheekbones. "We are. In fact, we're going to be better than okay. We're going to be great."

For once Olivia actually believes in his hope; she believes in _them_.


	3. Finally

_**A/N: This started out being something else entirely that I was already writing, but after 7x16 I couldn't help myself and had to get it out of my system. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!**_

 _ **Also, just a quick note - Scars We Carry is coming, I promise! I've just been struggling a little but I haven't abandoned it.**_

* * *

The second their lips touch _everything_ is right. The whole world falls away and it's just the two of them, if only for a moment.

 _Finally._

All Fitz is conscious of is Olivia's fingers buried in his hair, tugging the short curls at the nape of his neck; her sweet, sweet kisses are feeding a fire he'd thought had long died out. Somehow they make it across his hotel suite, stumbling blindly until they fall onto the bed together. His hands work deftly to remove her jacket, unbuttoning her blouse, swiftly slipping behind her to unhook the clasp of her bra.

"Fitz…" Olivia murmurs hazily when she feels his fingertips trail down her stomach, reaching for the waistband of her jeans. "Go get the scotch."

Fitz groans deeply, wanting nothing less than to pull himself away from her soft lips. "You better be naked when I get back."

He returns in mere seconds and she's only managed to get as far as kicking off her boots, pushing her jeans halfway down her thighs. She watches him set the bottle down on the nightstand as he loosens the buttons of his shirt with one hand. Everything seems to slow down and the air is charged with electricity as they finish undressing. She leaves her panties on for him, letting him drag the last barrier of fabric between them down around her ankles.

His blue eyes darken with lust at the sight of every inch of her naked skin before him and he can't hold back any longer; he's been torturing himself for _months_ by keeping his distance, waiting – and _hoping_ – for her to come back to him. Now he sees she really is back, she wants him, she _loves_ him and she's giving herself to him. He hasn't seen her look at him in the way she is now for _too_ long, but there's no denying the overwhelming amount of light and love in her eyes.

 _God_ , he's waited such a long time to have her back.

Fitz climbs on top of her and laces their fingers together, pinning them loosely to the mattress either side of her head. Olivia tips her chin up, pressing her lips to his insistently. The first brush of his tongue against hers has her whimpering quietly into his mouth because she's missed this, missed _him_. And when he eases back, parting their lips, she lets out an impatient whine and she's about to start pleading with him, but she's silenced as he moves down her body leaving behind a trail of kisses. He's only careful around her décolletage, lightly brushing his lips there, never leaving any visible marks out of years of habit. His tongue is teasing as he moves to suck at each of her hardened nipples, his lips curving against her into a smirk at the sound of her breathy moans. He shifts lower, his teeth nip at her delicate skin and his tongue darts out, soothing the slight pain he's inflicted. Her back arches instinctively when his teeth drag over her hip crease and he bites her thigh, smirking when she inhales a sharp gasp.

He releases her hands to spread her legs indecently wide, exposing her completely to him. A low growl sounds from his throat because she's already so wet and ready for him. She hasn't let him go down on her since his last night in the White House, so when she feels his hot breath against her center she shivers in anticipation. He dips the tip of his tongue inside her, just licking her out unhurriedly for a moment. If he weren't so drunk on the taste of her to be able to string a sentence together, he'd be _furious_ that she's deprived him of this pleasure for so long. An impatient sigh leaves her parted lips and she slides her hands into his hair, manicured nails gently scratching his scalp. He keeps his mouth on her as he lifts his gaze to meet hers; from the darkening of his eyes, he looks like he's _ravenous_. When he passes his tongue between her folds and circles it around her clit, she shudders out a moan and bucks against him.

In minutes Fitz has her whimpering, her whole body trembling and he _loves_ when she's like this, so responsive to his touch in every single way. Olivia can't even think straight as he sucks swirling kisses over her clit; her orgasm pulses through her in waves, she shudders and shakes, writhing through it until she's oversensitive and can't take anymore. As she catches her breath, he lets her pull him up her body and she curls her thighs around him immediately, needing to feel his skin on hers.

"Kiss me." She pleads in a soft whisper, idly stroking his ears with her thumbs.

It's impossible to resist her, especially when she's like this, all flushed cheeks, panting with desire. He kisses her tongue first and she moans as she tastes herself in his mouth. He grips her waist tight, pressing his thumbs into her flesh in such a way that's sure to leave her waking up with bruises, but she doesn't seem to care. They kiss passionately until she slides a hand between them to take his erection into her palm, feeling him throb beneath her fingertips as she strokes him up and down. She tilts her hips up and wraps her thighs tighter around him, trying to take him in when he stops her.

"No… Like this." Fitz murmurs, sitting up and pulling her with him so that she's in his lap. "Let's take it slow, baby."

Olivia's brows lift and she exhales an unsteady breath because she can't remember the last time he called her 'baby' and she's _missed_ that. His hands cup her ass, lifting her up and when she sinks down, taking him deep inside her, they both sigh.

 _Finally_.

They start to rock together. She's unbelievably wet and warm, clenching tight around him, and he has to remind himself to breathe. Things are so heated and intense with the slow pace he's taking, it's almost torturous. Her wandering hands are restless, moving up and down his spine, her nails scratching lightly over his skin. When his tongue trails a path down the side of her neck and he finds that spot that makes her quiver, her head falls back with a soft moan and she shifts deeper into his lap. He bites his bottom lip as he angles her hips until he feels a shudder run through her and he _knows_ he's hitting her g-spot.

"Oh _god_ ," Olivia pants, breathless, eyes rolling into the back of her head. " _Fuck_ , you feel so… _So good_."

The sex is passionate, all-consuming and _devastating_. When Fitz makes her come for the second time, it takes her by surprise. Her mouth falls open in a silent scream and every muscle in her body tenses for a few seconds. His lips twitch with a smirk that immediately slips from his face when she tightens her arms around his neck, pressing their hot bodies together as she grinds down onto him, taking him deeper than before. She kisses along his jawline, sucking his earlobe between her teeth and nipping it softly.

" _Livvie_ …" A low growl sounds from deep in his chest. He's not going to last much longer, but he can tell she's close too from the way her muscles are fluttering around his cock.

"Love you –" Her declaration is cut off by a halted cry as he circles her clit with two fingertips, applying just the right amount of pressure to push her over the edge. " _Oh_. Come with me, baby… _Let go_."

And he does. White hot pleasure courses through his veins when he climaxes, spilling inside her with a shout. She comes right with him, keening moans of ecstasy escaping her as she claws at his back.

* * *

Fitz rouses from his sleep gradually, inhaling Olivia's heady scent; for a split second he forgets and he's alarmed by her closeness, by her warmth. He's gotten so accustomed to sleeping without her that it's a surprise to be waking up tangled up in her.

And then he remembers: she's his _Livvie_ again.

 _Finally_.

His eyes blink against the morning sun peeking between the half-drawn curtains. He realizes that at some point during the night Olivia must've rolled over and nestled herself closer to him, curling an arm tightly around his neck. A frown creases his forehead when he notices the small indentation on her skin. He lifts a hand to rub his eyes but sure enough, he's not seeing things; there's a scar on her upper arm he's never seen before.

He feels her shift against him, her bare thigh flexing between his. He's suddenly acutely aware of his state of arousal; his half hard erection stiffens at the friction of her warm skin against his and he attempts to reposition her, disentangling his legs from hers.

"What are you doing?" Olivia mutters seemingly out of nowhere, startling him. Her voice is dazed and thick with sleep.

"Shit, sorry." Fitz clears his throat, wincing as he eases back. "Thought you were asleep."

"Mmm, I _was_ but _somebody_ woke me up." She teases him, peering at him out of one eye. "What time is it?"

"It's early, go back to sleep." He knows that his order is futile, that she's got work to do and she'll have to leave soon, but he's not ready to let her go just yet.

She leans across him, reaching for the watch he'd discarded on the nightstand, sitting beside the untouched bottle of scotch she'd brought with her last night. "I can stay another hour but then I'll really have to get going."

"I guess I'll take it." Tightening his arms around her, he concedes.

They're silent for a while, just appreciating a quiet moment to hold one another. He's beginning to wonder if she's drifted off when her fingers reach up to tangle in his hair.

"Missed this." Olivia mumbles dreamily, pressing a kiss to his collarbone.

Fitz chuckles quietly, "My hair?"

"Well, yeah…" She pulls back, rolling her eyes despite the smile teasing at the corners of her lips. "But I was thinking more about waking up with you."

He hums in agreement, then stares at her for a long moment. "What happened to your arm?"

"What?" Her brows furrow for a second and then she realizes what he's referring to. " _Oh_ – that."

"Liv?" He studies her carefully, noting the way she averts her gaze from his.

"It's not a big deal, really…" She chews her lower lip, shaking her head softly. "A few months ago, the night before I resigned, Quinn came to my apartment. She had a gun, she said she wanted to kill me for what I'd done."

"She _shot_ you?" His muscles tense suddenly and when her eyes flick up to meet his she sees a flash of protective rage behind them.

"No. God no. She would never… She just wanted to scare me, I think." She pauses, breathing out a sigh. "However, the trained snipers watching my apartment from across the street could only see her as a threat. They took a shot at her, I blocked it."

Fitz looks a shade paler by the time she's finished explaining herself to him. Beneath the layers of shock and nausea, he's _hurt_. Olivia can see it from the way his eyes are glazed over with emotion, glowering at her.

"I didn't want to upset you." She offers tentatively, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You could have _died_." His throat clenches uncomfortably and he struggles to remain calm.

"But I didn't." She attempts to soothe him, cupping his face with both hands. "And that chapter of my life is over now. I got out."

"Don't ever put yourself in danger like that again, Liv."

"I won't."

"I mean it. If you're dead, how am I supposed to survive?"

Her heart falters. It's a question she's asked herself too many times before and somehow their months apart have added to the emotional weight behind it. They've spent so long hurting each other, making up and breaking up; the thought of either of them dying is excruciating agony, but dying apart is simply _unbearable_.

"I'm sorry." Olivia punctuates her apology by lifting his chin up, brushing her lips over his in a tender kiss. "I promise, I'm going nowhere."

It seems to pacify Fitz a little and he exhales in relief, nodding. "Good."

"I came here last night because I'm just so _tired_ of fighting this." She gestures between them, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I want to be with you."

"You know this has to be it, right? We can't keep doing what we've been doing to each other, it's too goddamn hard."

"I know."

"I can't go through another breakup with you, Liv. I just can't do it again."

"I can't either."

Their conversation momentarily dissolves into kisses as he rolls them over, pressing her onto her back. He groans into her mouth when her tongue slides over his.

"God, I missed you." He hums against her soft lips, nudging her thighs apart with his knee.

And then she _giggles_.

Fitz pulls back, frowning down at her. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," She shakes her head, trying to suppress her laughter. "It's just that I realized something."

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember what you said to me when you came back to D.C.?"

"When I asked you to help with the missing girls case?"

"Yeah," She flattens a hand against his chest, stroking her thumb over the base of his neck. "You said it felt like old times, being with me in my old offices. You asked me if I wanted to get a drink with you… That's why I bought the whiskey."

"Ah. And we've _still_ not had that drink."

"Exactly." She laughs again, then her lips pucker into a pout of mock offense. "But hey, the thought was there."

"Mmm." His lips meet hers again because he can't help himself, he's utterly addicted to her kisses and he's gone without them for too long. "We'll save the bottle. And when all this blows over, we _will_ have that drink."

"I'll hold you to that."

* * *

Three weeks pass: Cyrus and Jake are both securely locked away in prison, Mellie's in her rightful seat in the Oval Office and Olivia is free.

Fitz shows up at her apartment armed with the whiskey, still unopened. She bites back a grin as she silently takes the bottle from him, leading him inside. Evidently she's been waiting for him, having already set two glasses out on her coffee table for them. She pours them both a decent measure of scotch and passes one of the tumblers to him.

"I know we both wanted to drink to old times, but that was before..." He reasons, trailing off as he raises his brows.

She has to admit he has a point; they used to be so good together, but it was never easy because they were constantly having to hide in the shadows. Now, in the light of day, they're in a much more honest place with one another. They've never had the luxury of being together with no repercussions and it feels _right_.

"To us. And whatever the future holds for you and me." She announces as she clinks her glass against his.

They both share smiles as they drink and then he pulls her into his arms, pressing a kiss against her temple.

 _Finally._


	4. It Ends With Us: I

_**A/N: It's been a while! Thanks to those of you who have reached out to me; long story short, I've been having family issues and battling with depression and anxiety. My laptop also broke and I couldn't afford the repairs for the longest time! But I haven't abandoned writing, I've been doing what I can without a computer; I've edited the whole of Scars We Carry and will be hopefully updating it later this week and I've been working on this bunch of post season 7 ficlets. There will be a couple more parts to this and probably more in the future because I've been really inspired by this version of Olitz.**_

 _ **This is based a few months after the finale.**_

* * *

The first time the thought crosses his mind, Fitz is arriving home from D.C. after a particularly long, hectic, stressful week working at the institute.

He heaves an exhausted sigh as he closes the front door behind him. He's ready to climb into bed with a generous glass of whiskey when he catches sight of her tiny feet dangling over the arm of his favorite leather chair as he walks into the living room.

The image of the love of his life curled up in his chair, fast asleep with a long forgotten book resting open in her lap, in _their_ house, makes his chest _ache_ and it takes his breath away because _god_ , he loves this woman so much.

 _I want to marry you._

The thought is fleeting, interrupted by Olivia stirring when she senses his presence, but it's _there_.

"Hi." He utters softly, tucking away any slight temptation to drop down on one knee and propose right now. His face breaks into the most adoring grin as he watches her stretch with a yawn.

"Hi." Her smile is sleepy when she gazes up at him, but suddenly it fades and she sits bolt upright. "Oh shit, you're home! I had plans to wait up for you, make you dinner –"

"It's okay, baby. I already ate." Fitz leans down to kiss her gently, lingering a little when she reaches up to cup the back of his neck.

"Wait out here ten minutes, okay?"

Olivia tosses her book on the coffee table alongside an empty glass of wine, then disappears down the hall, bare feet padding softly against the stone floors. Fitz helps himself to a glass of scotch in the kitchen and wanders back into the living room, peering down at her book curiously. It's a guide to Vermont and she's bookmarked a few pages with post-its, tiny notes scrawled onto a couple of them. He realizes from her pretty cursive handwriting that they're color-coded; orange is for the places she plans to visit, pink is for dates the two of them can go on, and green is for places they can take Teddy. His heart clenches in his chest as he counts as many green post-its as pink ones, she's clearly given this a lot of thought.

"Hey," Her voice is quiet and when he lifts gaze, she has a coy smile on her lips. "I thought you might like a bath after the week you've had."

It's then that he notices the silk robe she's wearing, she's belted it so that the fabric dips between her cleavage in a way that instantly makes him hard because he can tell she's naked underneath it.

"C'mon." She giggles and he figures he must've been caught openly salivating over her.

As he walks down the hall, following her, utterly fixated by the sway of her hips, he unbuttons his shirt with one hand. When they walk through their bedroom and finally reach the bathroom, he can't help but smile at the little touches she's made by lighting candles and adding jasmine and sandalwood oils to the bath, making it as inviting as she possibly can without lying naked in the tub, too.

But then she pins her hair up and shrugs out of her silk robe, stepping into the steaming water and he has to bury that thought again - the one he'd had moments earlier about wanting to marry her.

"So you've been making plans?" He asks to distract himself as he continues to undress, setting his glass down.

"Yeah, I picked up that guidebook at the grocery store this afternoon and couldn't help myself." She admits, sinking into the water and tilting her head back contentedly. "We should go for a picnic this weekend, weather's supposed to be nice."

"I'd love that." He grins, finally stepping out of his boxer briefs. "You gonna make room for me now?"

"Here, sit in front of me." She orders gently, reaching for his hand to guide him into the tub. "I wanna wash your hair."

Fitz leans back into Olivia, fitting himself snugly between her thighs and he lets her tip his head back to pour water over his hair, carefully avoiding his eyes. She's never done this before, but you'd never guess from the contented groans sounding from his throat when she begins massaging shampoo into his scalp.

"Feels so nice." He murmurs lowly, eyes sliding shut in pleasure.

"I'm glad, baby. Wanted to help you relax."

She tilts his head back again to wash the suds out of his hair and when she's done, he shifts himself until he can kiss her. His lips brush over hers languorously, drawing it out and tantalizing her endlessly.

"Love you. You're so good to me." He mumbles against her lips and he just keeps kissing her, unable to draw himself away.

"I'm not done yet." She giggles, scratching her nails at the base of his neck. "Do you want dry, frizzy curls?"

His eyes roll playfully. "No."

"So let me finish."

Fitz obeys her order eventually, but not before stealing a few more sensuous kisses. When Olivia's done running conditioner through the ends of his hair and rinsing it out, she slides her hands over his shoulders, gently pressing her thumbs into his tight muscles in slow circles.

"Baby, you're so tense."

"You're already making me feel better though."

"Mmm, I'm just getting started." Her lips brush against the back of his neck and her tongue darts out, licking the moist skin there.

When he feels one of her hands stroke down his abdomen, fingers lightly grazing over his erection, he jerks under her touch.

" _Liv_." He's whining her name, chest heaving softly as her thighs hug tighter around his hips.

"I just wanna touch you. Missed having you all to myself." Her mouth curves against the nape of his neck with an irrepressible smile.

It's a rare occasion that he settles against her, allowing her gentle exploration of his body without taking control. For several minutes her hands map his broad chest, she trails her fingertips back down his abs, feeling his muscles tense as his breath stutters.

"Wanna get out of the bath now?" Olivia asks as she takes his aching cock into her palm, grasping him lightly.

Fitz doesn't answer verbally, instead, he leaps out of the water before she has a chance to blink and his eagerness makes her giggle, especially when he bends down to lift her out of the tub and he carries her through to their bedroom.

"Fitz, no. _Stop!_ Not on the bed!" Her shrieking protests are ignored by him as he lays her out on the clean sheets. " _Fitz!_ I'm all wet!"

"I should hope so." A stupid grin pulls at the corners of his mouth when he raises his head.

She laughs in spite of herself, hitting him halfheartedly in the chest. "You know what I mean! Now I'm going to have to change the sheets."

"I have every intention of getting them dirty anyway." He reasons, biting his bottom lip as he takes in the sight of every inch of her moist skin and runs his hands up the inside of her thighs, still hugging his hips.

"Fitz," Her eyes darken with arousal and she licks her lips, watching his hands gently parting her legs wider and she knows from the way he's looking at her that he's going to _devour_ her unless she stops him. "I wanna make you feel good and you're going to let me. Lie down."

"So bossy." He teases, still grinning at her as he moves to lay beside her and tugs at her wrists until she's straddling his lap.

"Sometimes you need reminding who's in charge." She states as she lifts her shoulders in a light shrug, batting her lashes innocently.

Fitz lets her nudge him, pushing him back into the pillows to give her space to kneel between his legs. Olivia dips her head, leaning in to line his throat and collarbones with nibbling kisses and then she drifts lower, swirling her tongue around one of his nipples. She drags her lips across his chest to suck his other nipple into her mouth, biting softly. A smirk spreads across her face when she hears his sharp intake of breath. She peppers his torso with kisses and little nips of her teeth until she reaches his hips. She lays one hand flat against his lower abdomen and curls her fingers around his erection, stroking him up and down experimentally. The air rushes out of his chest when she swipes her tongue up the underside of his cock, pressing it firmly against the tip.

"Ah - _fuck!_ My god, _Livvie_..." His voice takes on a different kind of tone when she pleasures him like this. He sounds breathier, _needier_.

She gazes up at him through dark lashes as she continues caressing his length with her lips and tongue, watching him spiral with desire. He's so sensitive and responsive when she takes him into her mouth, groaning low in his throat at the sensation. She pulls her hand away and rests it on his thigh to take him deeper. His hips jerk and spasm uncontrollably, he almost apologizes but then she hums in approval, sucking in her cheeks as she begins to bob her head up and down. He reaches for the clips at the back of her head and snaps them open, letting her hair down so he can thread his fingers in it, lightly grasping handfuls of it.

Olivia uses her lips, tongue and teeth to bring him closer to the edge until she has to ease back because she needs to take a break from deepthroating him. Fitz grunts, shifting his hips forward when she focuses all her attention on the throbbing head of his cock, sucking him and expertly swirling her tongue over him. His eyes drift shut and his moans intensify when she works his length with her hand.

She pulls away, releasing him from between her lips with a pop. "Look at me."

He opens his sex-drunk eyes, gazing down at her lovingly as she takes his erection between her lips until he's buried deep in her throat. He growls through a clenched jaw, fighting against every instinct to buck his hips, gripping her hair tighter in his hands. It doesn't take much more to set him off, the pressure of her hot mouth around him is too much for him to hold off any longer and when he comes, he makes a sound from deep in his chest, something between a guttural moan and a shout. He throbs and pulses against the fluttering of her tongue, spilling himself into her mouth and she drinks him in, swallowing every last drop.

When she crawls up on top of him and presses tender kisses along his jaw, he's adorably dumbfounded and totally wrecked by the orgasm she's just brought him to.

"Was that good, baby?" Olivia giggles at the state he's in, affectionately nuzzling against the side of his neck.

Fitz regains some composure when he's caught his breath. "Holy fuck, I love you."

* * *

 ** _One month later…_**

Fitz is angry.

He's angry and he's alternating between seething on the couch and pacing the living room because he can't settle.

Their Valentine's plans are ruined and he's _pissed_. She'd known how excited he was to share their first _real_ Valentine's Day together, _finally_. Despite the fact she has little interest in the holiday, he had assumed she'd at least play along for him. But hour after hour passes and she hasn't shown up. He's left her increasingly frustrated voicemails but she hasn't even responded with so much as a text.

A little after eleven o'clock he hears her keys jingle as she unlocks the front door and steps inside. Her eyes lock with his across the room and she inhales a quiet gasp, immediately seeing his silent fury. The realization suddenly hits her.

"Oh my god… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She clasps a hand over her forehead and guilt washes over her face. "It's Valentine's Day."

"If you didn't want to celebrate it you could've just told me, instead of letting me wait all goddamn night for you like an idiot. I called you. Where the hell have you been?" He's raising his voice, almost yelling at her and then he notices her appearance; her hair's pulled back in a bun that's beginning to unravel, she's wearing her running clothes, and she's covered in dirt… and _blood?_ "What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She sighs, dismissing his worries immediately. "I was out for a run this morning and… Listen, don't be mad, please?"

That makes Fitz's temper rise again. "Liv, what the fuck have you done for me to be mad about? Don't tell me 'don't be mad' and just expect me to be okay with that."

"Fitz, will you just come out here with me?" Olivia asks quietly and she stares at him, imploring him to follow her. "It's easier for me to just _show_ you."

He clenches his jaw tightly for a second and exhales a breath of air, crossing over to meet her at the front door. She walks out to her car and he follows close behind her, watching as she makes her way over to the passenger side.

"Look."

The second she pulls open the door he understands. All of his questions are answered, but he's got a million new ones forming in his head already.

There's a puppy crying quietly in a cage placed on the seat. She's actually brought home a _puppy._

"I found the little guy at the side of the road when I was coming back from my run. He was covered in mud, I almost didn't see him." As she explains, she slips her fingers between the bars of the cage to stroke the puppy's ear, calming his whining. "I think he'd been attacked or bitten or something, his front leg was torn up. I bundled him up in my jacket and ran back to my car, drove to the nearest veterinary clinic and… that's where I've been all day."

Fitz is _speechless_ ; she misconstrues his silence as simmering anger.

"We don't have to keep him, just give me a few days to find him a good home." Olivia swallows thickly, blinking back tears and he realizes just how attached she already is. As if he can understand her every word, the puppy's whimpers grow louder, like he's protesting the idea.

"Livvie," His voice is soft, void of all the anger he'd barely managed to contain just two minutes ago. "We are _absolutely_ keeping him."

She immediately meets his warm gaze with her own watery eyes. "Really?"

 _I want to marry you._

The thought enters his head again, loud and clear, because he loves this woman with every part of his soul, beyond all reason. He shakes his head and lifts his shoulders in a shrug. "How could I say no?"

She stands on her tiptoes to kiss him elatedly, cupping his jaw with both hands. It takes all of five seconds before they're interrupted by a piercing squeak.

"Sorry, little buddy. How about we get you inside, huh?" He soothes gently, reaching inside her car to pull out the cage.

It takes them a couple of trips to bring everything into the house, she'd made sure she was well supplied with everything and _anything_ a puppy could possibly ever need in the form of food, treats, toys and a bed. They set up a pen around the kitchen and Olivia finally lets the puppy out of the cage, patiently coaxing him over to her.

Fitz watches the little furball limp across the room, careful to not put too much weight on his bandaged up paw. "He is just adorable, isn't he?"

"I'm so glad you wanna keep him. It would've broken my heart to let him go." She murmurs as she pets the pup's head lightly, letting him sniff around and get a feel for his new surroundings.

"What breed is he? Husky?"

"The vet said she thought Australian Shepherd Husky mix. She couldn't find a microchip but she said he's so underweight, it's likely he was abandoned or a stray."

"Poor bud." Fitz reaches out a tentative hand as the puppy approaches him, allowing him to get his scent before he strokes him.

Olivia leans into him, tucking her head under his chin. "I'm sorry I missed Valentine's Day. I would've called but I had no cell service and to be completely honest it had totally slipped my mind."

"Don't apologize, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you." He presses his lips to her forehead, kissing her tenderly. At that moment, the puppy scrambles into his lap and flops down, settling immediately. "I think he's stolen my heart from you, sorry Liv."

"I'm right there with you." She giggles, gently stroking a hand through the pup's velvety fur.

"Why don't you go take a shower? I can warm some dinner for you, you must be starving." Fitz offers, realizing she's still wearing her dirty running clothes and she can't have eaten since early that morning.

"Are you sure?" Olivia hesitates and her gaze shifts between him and the puppy lying contentedly in his lap.

"Liv, I've got this. Don't worry." He tilts his head, turning his attention to the pup. "We'll be fine, won't we, bud?"

She kisses both of them sweetly and pushes herself up off the kitchen floor, leaving them to it.

* * *

Hours later, Olivia wakes for the third time to the sound of piercing whimpering coming from down the hall, muffled only slightly by their bedroom door. Stretching out with a sleepy yawn, she slides out of bed and pads barefoot through to the kitchen. The puppy only calms down when she lifts him out of the pen and hugs him against her chest.

"You're lucky you're cute." She breathes out a tired sigh and turns on her heels to walk back to the bedroom. "You'll have to be quiet and let me get some sleep, okay?"

When she enters the room Fitz is half propped up in bed, looking bleary-eyed. "Is he okay?"

"He only stops crying when I hold him, I think he's just scared of being alone."

"Oh buddy, c'mere." He reaches out and she hands the puppy to him as she climbs back into bed.

"I know this probably goes against every rule in all the dog training books, but let's let him sleep with us tonight."

"I'll set up a pen in here for him to sleep in tomorrow."

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

"We'll have to think of a name for him."

She stares at him for a while, watching with adoration as he nuzzles the puppy's ear and tucks him under his arm between them, hugging him affectionately. "What about Buddy?"

"Hmm?"

"Well, you've been calling him your little 'buddy' all night… Why not?"

Fitz's face breaks into a sleepy grin. "I love that."

"Mmm, me too." Olivia smiles and cuddles close, sandwiching Buddy between them.

As he drifts back to sleep, that last thing he's conscious of is the overwhelming love he has for her; despite everything, this is the best Valentine's day he's _ever_ had.

* * *

 ** _Two months after that…_**

Fitz can't make his way through the hospital fast enough. He marches down what seems like endless halls and takes what feels like the longest elevator ride of his life. Even with the guidance of the secret service detail escorting him, he feels lost until finally they reach the ward and he's directed to the correct room. Relief floods him the second he looks through the windowed door and sees Olivia stroking Teddy's hair, comforting his boy.

"Hey," Fitz utters as he steps into the room, immediately striding across to them. "I got here as fast as I could. What happened? Are you okay, Ted?"

Teddy lifts his head from Olivia's shoulder and sniffles. "My arm hurts."

"He was playing with Buddy out on the terrace and he tripped and fell." Olivia explains with a furrow of her brows, not quite meeting his gaze. "We're just waiting on the x-ray results so they can assess the fracture."

"If my arm's broken does that mean I don't have to go to school?" Teddy asks, staring up at his dad with hopeful eyes.

Fitz chuckles, shaking his head. "No, I'm afraid not."

"I should call Mellie." Olivia announces quietly as she stands up from her seat, hooking her arm through the handles of her Prada purse.

Fitz lifts his head, frowning slightly at the way she charges across the room. He asks, "Does she know?"

"I've been keeping her updated. I said I'd call back when you arrived." She lingers at the door just long enough to answer before slipping outside.

* * *

Fitz strolls into their bedroom later that night to find Olivia fresh from the shower, hair dripping onto her terrycloth robe. She barely acknowledges his presence and continues applying lotion to her legs. She's been avoiding him since his arrival at the hospital, but he'd assumed it was just the stress of the situation and he'd given her space.

"Those painkillers the doctor prescribed have _totally_ wiped Teddy out." He tries to catch her eye, make her connect with him but she keeps her head down. "I checked on him and he's fine."

"That's good." Olivia responds tersely, her voice quiet and distant.

Fitz steps to her and lightly grasps her upper arms. "Liv?"

When she finally meets his gaze, his breath stutters. She looks so lost and frustrated in a way he hasn't seen her look for _months_ –not since before they exposed their lies and involvement in B613, and that scares him.

"What's wrong?"

"Why aren't you mad at me?"

He raises his eyebrows in surprise; it's not a question he's expecting from her.

"You should be mad at me, why aren't you?" She continues, snapping at him as she steps out of his grip.

"Mad? Why would I be –"

She cuts him off immediately, "Because this is my fault."

"Liv, kids fall over. Accidents happen. _None_ of this is on you." Fitz shakes his head softly, hoping to instill some confidence in her but he can already see she's not accepting it.

"The first time I take care of your child on my own, he ends up in hospital." Olivia declares and begins to pace the length of their bedroom. He takes a seat at the end of their bed, knowing from experience that she needs to work through this without him interrupting her or touching her.

She huffs out a frustrated sigh and continues, "I should've been watching him closely, I should've been out there with him or made him play inside. You have every right to be mad, I don't get it… I don't understand how you're so calm about this. Teddy got hurt and it's because I wasn't taking good enough care of him. How can I expect you to trust me to watch over your child when I can't even trust myself? And what if somewhere down the line I get pregnant? I can't even take care of a nine year old, how can I make sure a tiny baby is safe?"

 _Oh_. _There it is._

"You want to have a baby?" Fitz asks, staring at her and when her hazy eyes blink and focus on him as she stops in her tracks, he sees that she's been thinking out loud.

"Uh – no… I – I didn't say that." Olivia stumbles over her words, suddenly unable to articulate her thoughts.

"We can talk about this, Liv. It's okay." His voice is carefully soft and tender because he wants her to be open with him, he's learned the hard way how easily she can put her walls up. "You've been thinking about it."

"It's kind of hard not to." She breathes out, her shoulders sinking with a defeated shrug. "We're finally able to just _be_ and…"

"What?"

"Part of me worries, sometimes."

His brows draw together in a frown because things have been so _great_ – never better – and the idea that she's perhaps not been enjoying their last few months together has him questioning everything.

"What are you worried about?" Fitz is tentative, almost fearful of her answer, but he has to know.

"Is it enough?" Olivia's voice trembles as she asks the question and it hurts for him to even hear the words from her lips.

"Livvie –"

"Am _I_ enough? When the novelty wears off, are you sure that what we have will be enough for _you_?"

"Olivia, listen to me," He says and reaches for her hands, pulling her to stand between his knees. "I've waited _ten years_ to wake up next to you every day, in our bed, in the house I built for us. There is no novelty to us being together. This is it for me. You are everything."

She has to rest her palms against his chest for stability because he _actually_ makes her weak at the knees. "God, where did you come from?"

The corners of his mouth tug into a crooked smile and he clasps his hands around her slender arms. "Do you want us to have a baby, Liv? Or is it that _you_ think I'm not enough?"

"You're enough… You're too much, sometimes. It can be overwhelming." Olivia exhales a breathy laugh and then tilts her head to the side, staring at him, her gaze unrelenting. "How would you feel about us having a baby?"

"It was part of my dream for us, having children together, living here. It still could be," Fitz admits as he traces his thumbs in circles over the sensitive skin on the inside of her wrists. "But now that we're here, if it's just us… I'm finally happy, Livvie."

"I think," She hesitates, inhaling a deep breath. "I think I'd like to have a baby with you. Maybe. I don't know, spending time with baby Robin, seeing how happy Quinn and Charlie are with her… It'd be nice."

 _I want to marry you._

It's becoming a recurring thought, he finds himself contemplating it on a daily basis. It often comes quietly into his consciousness, like mornings when he walks into the kitchen to find her eating a bowl of cereal, dressed in one of his shirts that dwarfs her tiny figure. But sometimes, in moments like this, it's so much louder and harder to ignore.

"I'm not saying I want us to start trying," She continues, interrupting his thoughts. "But if it happens, it happens. And maybe we can talk about it more seriously later."

"Okay." He reaches for her waist and pulls her down into his lap, capturing her lips with a loving kiss before easing back. "I don't want you to hold onto any guilt over what happened today. Teddy's fine. Neither Mellie nor myself blame you. And I couldn't have handled things any better."

"Are you sure about that?" She gives him a skeptical look, brows drawing together.

"Liv, when Karen was seven or eight she broke her ankle. Wanna know how it happened?"

"How?"

"We were on a family vacation and she was jealous that Jerry knew how to dive, so I was teaching her. I thought it was a good idea for her to take a run-up to the edge of the pool. On wet tiles." Fitz winces at the memory, exhaling a soft sigh. "She slipped and her little leg snapped like a twig."

Olivia's lips part in a silent gasp. "Fitz, you didn't…"

"I did." He half grimaces, half laughs. "And Mellie didn't let me hear the end of it."

"I can only imagine." She giggles, tossing her head back.

"My point is parents make mistakes, Liv." His arms encircle her waist as he speaks, pulling her close to him. "Whether it's with the kids I already have or ones we might have in the future, accidents like this will happen."

"I think we may have to rethink plans for the weekend." Her brow arches and she gives him an obvious look, threading her fingers in his hair. "A broken arm doesn't lend itself well to rock climbing."

He laughs. "You may have a point about that."

"How about we take it easy, curl up by the fire and have a movie day? And then Sunday we could take him to that aquarium in Burlington."

"Mmm, sounds good." Fitz murmurs, leaning in to kiss her neck, sucking at her pulse point.

"Fitz…" Olivia sighs out his name because he _knows_ just the spot to make her melt. "Teddy is –"

"Asleep, in his room, on the other side of the house." He finishes for her, biting softly at her delicate skin. "I want to make love to you, baby. Been thinking about it all day."

She's helpless to refuse him; she lets him spread her out on the comforter and pull open her robe. Her chest heaves when she inhales a deep breath of air, watching as his gaze roams her naked body freely. She tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes darkening with lust.

"Take off your clothes."

His eyes widen and a stupid, amused grin spreads across his face. "Olivia Pope, that's _my_ line."

"Oh really?" She feigns innocence, staring down at him through thick, black lashes. "My memory is failing me… You might have to remind me why."

Fitz does exactly that. He reminds her in _every_ way, all night, until they're both sated and exhausted. The next day Olivia barely lasts through the first twenty minutes of The Wizard of Oz before cuddling into his side, tangling their legs together under the blanket and falling asleep against his chest.

* * *

 _ **A/N: I hope you enjoyed a little peek into how I think they might be living post season 7. Let me know what you think!**_


	5. It Ends With Us: II

_**A/N: Thanks so much for the feedback on the first part of this series and the kind messages. It's so appreciated. This skips ahead a couple more months after the last part. Enjoy!**_

* * *

Fitz takes his eye off the burgers sizzling on the grill when he hears the sound of blissful giggles and an irrepressible grin tugs at the corners of his mouth; Olivia is pleasantly tipsy on sangria, throwing her head back with the most infectious, genuinely euphoric laughter.

A year ago he never could've envisaged the sight before him.

He'd lost all hope for them, for _her_. She'd become so consumed by darkness that the dream he'd had of them someday reuniting, living in the house he'd built for her, was destroyed and he'd given up on any chance of a life with her. He would have been a fool to continue to invest his energy in an impossible future. Though it wasn't easy, somehow she'd fought her way back into the light; in time he found a way to forgive her and they rebuilt everything together.

Even more surprising, however, was the way she'd managed to repair her friendship with Quinn. It didn't happen overnight, but underneath all the hurt and pain, their bond was still there. After Olivia put everything on the line to expose B613, regardless of the consequences, it was easier for Quinn to let go of the bitter hatred and learn to trust her again; she was able to see her as the woman she used to idolise once again, no longer the woman she'd grown to detest.

Despite their reconciliation, it's still a shock to Fitz to see how far they've come; to see them actually _laughing_ together with Abby in their back yard, enjoying a summer barbeque, is really, really _nice_. His chest swells with pride and happiness for her because he _knows_ how hard she's worked to earn Quinn back. He's seen how deeply her actions had impacted her and watched her suffer through unbearable guilt over it all. When he'd suggested she invite the girls and Charlie out to Vermont for the weekend she'd initially been apprehensive, fearing their rejection, but he'd eventually convinced her to ask them. Seeing her unadulterated joy now, he understands just how much this means to her, to have her friends back – to have _Quinn_ back.

They watch in amusement as Robin – with careful guidance from Charlie, who's only a foot behind her – stumbles across the lawn to Buddy, gently grasping at his fur with pudgy hands. Fitz turns his attention back to the grill, flipping burgers over one by one, and when he's done a faint smile touches his lips as he senses Olivia's presence.

"I thought you'd like a refill."

"Thanks Livvie," He grins, watching her place a generous glass of sangria down on the table beside him.

Her arms loop around his waist as she hugs into his side, lightly tracing his abs through his t-shirt. If he didn't know she was tipsy before, he'd know now; in time she's grown to be more openly tactile with him with a little liquor in her bloodstream.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself."

"I am… Thank you for this."

His eyebrows lift and he turns his head, gazing down at her with a bewildered look in his eyes. "For what?"

"I never would've invited them – _Quinn_ – out here if you hadn't persuaded me." Her pensive expression dissolves as a rueful smile edges onto her face. "Besides, without you who would cook?"

He laughs. "That's true."

"Finish up and come sit with us soon, okay?" She steps up on the tips of her toes to brush her lips over his. The kiss is innocent but she lingers just enough to get him hot under the collar.

* * *

The sun is still warm on Fitz's skin when late afternoon draws in. The day has been pleasant so far, filled with laughter and easy conversation, but he's noticed Olivia's a little more on edge now. She glances at her watch, then checks her phone for the fourth or fifth time that hour; he gives her a questioning look when their eyes meet across the garden table, but says nothing. Her gaze drifts to Abby, who's happily bouncing a very giggly Robin in her lap.

"I'll be right back." She mutters as she gets up from the bench, then walks across the terrace, into the house.

Curiosity and mild concern get the better of him; he follows her inside, sliding the doors closed behind him. She's pacing the living room, twirling her cell between her fingers.

"Liv?"

She comes to a stop and turns on her heels to face him, forcing a smile that he, _of course_ , sees right through immediately. There's no fooling him.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, it's fine. I'll be out in a minute."

" _Liv_." His tone is firm this time and she winces. They don't lie or hide things from each other anymore, but old habits die hard.

"Right, sorry, okay." Sighing out, she perches on the arm of the chair. "I did something."

"What do you mean _something_?"

"I invited Stephen… I did it for Abby."

He lifts his brows at her in surprise. "Oh."

"I know how hard it's been for her, losing David…" She exhales a shaky breath and swallows against the lump in her throat; David's murder is still raw. "I don't know. Stephen's been divorced over a year now and I thought she might appreciate having a friend here who _isn't_ coupled up."

His heart clenches because she's _so_ thoughtful. There was a time when he didn't think she'd ever be _this_ person again, when she was doing everything selfishly, without caring about the consequences or damage to other people.

Again, that recurring thought of _I want to marry you_ is deafeningly loud in his head.

He steps towards her, pulling her hand into his with a reassuring squeeze.

"You're amazing, you know that?" His thumb lightly caresses her knuckles as he leans in, pressing a tender kiss to her lips. Their doorbell rings out, announcing her friend's arrival and he pulls back an inch. "Go on, answer it."

Her expression is still a little apprehensive, but she smiles nervously at him and hops off the armchair, crossing over to the door. He watches her greet Stephen, letting him pull her into a warm hug.

"It's so good to see you, Liv."

"I'm glad you could come. How was your flight?"

For a few moments they catch up and Fitz can't help but smile at her, at how sincerely happy she is to be reunited with another old friend. It isn't that she's _discontented_ with the life they have now, but it's plain to see that her bond with her friends runs deep. When she calls them her 'family' it isn't meant lightly.

"Stephen?"

Fitz, Olivia and Stephen all spin around; Abby is standing in the doorway. She hesitates, but just for a second, then she crosses the room and embraces him tightly. Olivia silently steps away from them as they reconnect, taking Fitz by the hand to lead him back outside with her.

* * *

Later in the evening, Olivia finds Fitz in the kitchen, clearing away leftovers into the refrigerator. Quinn is putting Robin down for the night with Charlie, leaving Abby and Stephen alone, catching up out on the terrace.

"Hi."

He watches with a faint smile on his lips as she rounds the breakfast bar. "Hi."

"Today just made me remember how happy you make me." She utters, taking his hands into hers as she stands in front of him, leaning against the counter. "You're so good to me. How did I get so lucky?"

He stares at her for a long moment, then takes a deep breath, "I have to tell you something."

"Okay." The sobering expression on his face is making her stomach clench with nerves.

"Back when things were really dark, after I brought you out here and you manipulated all of us and promised to resign… That was when I'd lost hope." He immediately feels her tense up and sees the lingering guilt and shame in her eyes as she averts her gaze from his. "I secretly put the house up for sale."

His revelation knocks the air out of her lungs. She swallows thickly, her eyes filling with tears. He pulls his hands from hers to cup her jaw, gently caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.

"I couldn't find it in my heart to accept any offer..." His brows draw together and he exhales a quiet sigh. "I might have lost hope that there was a future for us, but that didn't make it any easier to let it go."

"What changed your mind?" She asks when she finally finds her voice, her fingertips absently toying with the hem of his shirt as she speaks.

"The first time I had second thoughts about selling the house was when we worked together on the class action lawsuit. That night when you tried to pick a fight with me because you were doubting yourself, I saw that underneath it all you were still _you_." He studies her intently, watching her expression soften as she blinks back tears. "I was still hesitant but you kept proving yourself to me, over and over. The night you came to my hotel room, the night you brought that _really_ expensive olive branch…"

She smiles fondly at the memory, finishing for him, "The bottle of scotch."

"Right. That was the night I knew that I was never going to sell the house. I just couldn't. I took it off the market as soon as you left." His thumb catches a tear that escapes her eye and he gently brushes it away, breathing out a soft sigh. "I spent so long feeling paralyzed by my fear of losing you and it nearly killed me, but I'm so glad that I didn't let myself give up on you."

Rather than even attempting to express the overwhelming feeling of love and adoration she has for him through words, she leans in close to kiss him soundly on the lips, effectively silencing him. He gently pins her hips to the counter and sighs contentedly, eventually prying himself from her deliciously soft lips before they get too carried away.

"I love you." She whispers hoarsely, her eyes still wet with tears.

"I love you too." A faint smile touches his lips and he nods towards the window, gesturing to Abby and Stephen. "Things seem to be going well with them."

"They were always close. Abby and I never talked about it, but after he left I knew she missed him... I was worried I might've done the wrong thing by inviting him, because I was trusting my gut. I hadn't _really_ done that in I don't know how long." Her hands run up his torso, skimming his sculpted body before she winds her arms around his neck, hugging him close as she breathes out a soft sigh. "I haven't seen her smile like this since..."

She trails off; she doesn't need to finish, he understands. His thumbs rub soothing circles at the base of her back as he nuzzles against the side of her neck, gently pressing his lips against her delicate skin.

"You did a good thing, Livvie. I'm proud of you."

The way he hums against her pulse point makes her shiver; even now, it thrills him to know that even after a decade together he still possesses the ability to make her _weak_.

* * *

A little after midnight Stephen leaves for his hotel, but not before making plans with Abby to go for brunch in the morning. Charlie's already turned in for the night with Robin and Fitz follows suit soon after, leaving the girls with an open invitation to demolish his whiskey collection.

He'd assumed Olivia would later tiptoe into their room and quietly crawl into bed, but the reality is quite the opposite. He stirs with a muted groan when he hears her stumble through to the bathroom and then the door closes loudly behind her. When he feels warm, soft lips brushing lightly along his jawline he realizes he must've drifted back to sleep while she was getting ready for bed.

"Fitz," Her voice is soft but insistent. She continues to kiss him, pausing to tug his earlobe between her teeth. "C'mon. I know you're not asleep."

"Liv, you've had too much to drink and it's late and…" His mumbled halfhearted protests trail off as her hand slips into his boxer briefs.

"I might be a little drunk but I'm drunk and _turned on_ , and if you don't wake up, I might have to go make use of our showerhead and have fun _without_ you." She purrs and sucks at the sensitive patch of skin below his ear.

"I'm awake, I'm awake." He responds quickly and she chuckles because it's just _too_ easy with him.

Her lips find his in the dim light and they kiss slowly and sensuously for a few minutes as she strokes his cock, feeling him fill beneath her fingertips. He caresses his hands down her bare back to squeeze her ass, reveling in the fact she's already naked.

"What's gotten into you?"

" _You_ have." She growls lowly as she tugs his underwear down. "I love you."

"I love you too, so– _oh_ much." He gasps when she wraps a leg around his hip, pressing him onto his back as she straddles him.

"I need to make love to you."

"Right _now_?" He's teasing her. She can just make out the crooked grin spreading across his face in the hazy light.

"Yes, _now_. I haven't been able to stop thinking about how you nearly sold the house…" Her voice catches a little with emotion and he finds her hands, squeezing them reassuringly. "I'm sorry I put you through that."

"Liv –"

"No, I mean it." She interrupts him resolutely and dips down to recapture his lips, kissing him with intent for a long moment. "I love you, Fitz. Really, truly love you. And I've never been happier than I am now, here, with you, in _our_ house."

There's something about the weight of her sincere words and the sensation of her bare skin pressed against his that leaves him breathless. There's a beat of silence as they both take in the moment because they _can_ do that now; they're able to really pause and appreciate the time they have together.

He's the first to speak, "Can we make love now?"

" _Yes_."

Using his hands for leverage, she pushes herself up and a shiver runs through her as she sinks deeper into his lap, feeling his throbbing erection straining against her lower abdomen. She kneels up and places one of his hands on her thigh, then reaches between them to align him at her center, brushing the head of his cock between her folds.

"Fuck, Liv, you're so wet." He grunts, panting a little as he clenches his jaw.

"Only for you." Her mouth falls open with a breathy sigh when she lowers herself onto him, taking him to the hilt.

For a few minutes he lets her do the work and ride him unhurriedly, only pulling his hand from her thigh to squeeze her ass, possessively pressing his fingers into her soft flesh. The way she's barely lifting her hips from his, grinding down against him in slow circles, is a potent mixture of torture and ecstasy. He can only hold back for so long before taking her by surprise, snapping his hips up, fucking into her even deeper. A strangled moan erupts from her throat and if she's aware of how loud she's being when they've got company for the night, she doesn't seem to care.

When Olivia moves to grip Fitz's shoulders with both hands, rocking her hips faster and harder against his, he knows she's close. Her body clenches around his, tiny inner muscles fluttering and squeezing his cock. He brings his free hand – the one not gripping her ass – between her thighs, immediately finding her clit with two fingertips.

"Come for me, baby." He encourages her lowly and she whimpers, digging her nails into his shoulders.

"Yes, yes, _fuck!_ That's so –" She's cut off as she climaxes with a broken moan, her entire body trembling through it.

She's a little wrecked, she has to still her hips against his from the oversensitivity, but he doesn't give her much of a chance to recover. Before she can even catch her breath, he flips her onto her back easily without pulling out. Hooking one of her legs over his arm, he presses deeper into her than before, groaning out raggedly at the sensation. Her fingers wind into his hair and cup the back of his neck as she pulls him down to kiss him urgently, only half muffling the feverish moans coming from her throat. He fucks into her in hard strokes, grinding down against her clit and hitting her g-spot with just the right amount of pressure to push her to her next orgasm fast. He's clenching his jaw, trying to hold off and make it last as long as possible, but her thighs are quaking and he knows she's almost there.

"Fitz, I'm gonna come. _Let go_."

That's all the persuasion he needs; he quickens his thrusts, groaning into her mouth when she lifts her hips to meet his. Her nails scratch down his back and she tugs at his hair when her orgasm tears through her. The way she cries out his name as her body convulses around him sets him off. He comes with a guttural moan then slumps down, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

"God, that was good." Olivia murmurs in a breathy voice, minutes later.

"I should threaten to sell the house more often if _that_ is how you respond…" Fitz chuckles into the hollow of her throat, kissing the delicate skin there.

Grabbing a fistful of his hair, she yanks him up a little less than gently to glower at him. "Not funny, mister."

"Couldn't even if I wanted to anyway, not now your name is on the deed."

The goofiest smile tugs at the corners of his mouth; it makes her want to kiss it right off his face. And so she does.

* * *

The following morning Fitz is in their bathroom, shaving at the sink, when he sees Olivia appear behind him in the mirror, leaning against the doorframe with a sheepish grin on her lips.

"What is _that_ look for?"

She stifles a laugh, clearing her throat. "Well, I think next time we do something like this we may have to be a little more self-aware…"

"What do you mean?"

"I just overheard Charlie talking with Quinn and Abby in the living room."

"About what?"

"I believe his exact words were _'did you hear them last night?'_ followed by _'I can't believe I was kept up by the sounds of the president and his girlfriend doing the nasty!'_ "

"'Doing the nasty'?" Fitz repeats with a rueful chuckle, shaking his head softly.

"I know." Olivia clasps a hand over her mouth, smothering a giggle.

He finishes shaving and wipes his face clean, then turns to her looking decidedly amused. "You're not embarrassed, are you?"

"He's not exactly the first person who's caught us having sex." Her shoulders lift in a tiny shrug as she rolls her eyes playfully. "But maybe we should book them all into hotels next time..."

"Or we could just go without sex for the weekend."

She fixes him with a look, raising her eyebrows at him in disbelief. Suddenly he crumbles with a laugh, reaching forward to tug at her hips, pulling up her against him.

"Yeah, you're right. That was a stupid idea." His lips hover barely an inch above hers and his eyes grow hazy with desire.

"C'mon," She giggles, kissing him quickly before pulling away, taking his hand to lead him out of the room. "I want breakfast."

* * *

 ** _A/N: I'd been wanting to find a way to approach the deleted 7x10 scene with Fitz selling the house (I've reblogged a more detailed post about it on my tumblr - makingjaminvermont) because it just broke my heart, but I couldn't imagine him ever truly letting her/Vermont go, so this is what I came up with. I hope it feels realistic, but I'd love to know what you think either way!_**


	6. It Ends With Us: III

**_A/N: Let me start by saying thank you for all the sweet messages and comments about this series! I'm really happy with it and I love knowing that you guys have been enjoying it too! My mental health has been spiraling lately and I know I don't update as often as I used to, but writing is my escape, particularly when it comes to this series._**

 ** _I always love reading your thoughts/opinions, if you have any suggestions or constructive criticism please send it to my tumblr - my url is makingjaminvermont (link on my profile). I also post sneak peeks of my writing occasionally and I'm trying to use it more, so I'd love to chat over there!_**

 ** _This next part begins a month or so after the barbeque..._**

* * *

Fitz is drenched in sweat and running a fever when Marcus sends him home early after catching him puking in his private bathroom at the institute, absolutely _insisting_ he rests. Olivia has to physically force him into their bedroom and it's like wrestling with a bear, but eventually she manages to get him to change out of his clothes.

She only leaves him for two minutes to get him a glass of water and a damp cloth, but when she returns from their bathroom he's gone. When she finds him, he's sitting in his boxers at the desk in their shared office. He looks ridiculous and if she weren't so intent on getting him to rest, she'd be laughing at him.

"Fitz, what are you doing? Come on, you need to rest."

He frowns, staring blearily at his computer screen. "I need to check my emails and I've gotta finish my speech for Friday, Liv. I need to –"

"Babe, listen to me, you're sick. You _cannot_ work right now."

"Liv –"

"Fitz, _bed_. Now."

He doesn't put up a fight when she takes that tone with him, letting her pull him by the hand, leading the way back to their bedroom. She climbs into bed with him, sitting up with her back resting against their headboard as he quietly settles beside her. She rests her palm against his forehead for a brief moment.

"You're burning up. Here." Olivia gently coaxes his head into her lap and reaches for the cloth she'd set aside on the nightstand. They're both silent for a while as she gently dabs at his heated skin, trying to soothe his fever.

"Livvie?" Fitz's eyes are half lidded and unfocused when he gazes up at her.

She huffs out a sigh, anticipating some kind of argument for her to let him work. "What now?"

"Love you." A goofy, dazed smile spreads across his face.

She stifles a laugh and leans in, lightly kissing his forehead. "I love you too."

"You're pretty. So pretty."

"Oh? I am, huh?"

"Yeah." He mumbles, reaching up to take her hand and grip it feebly. "Wanna marry you."

Her brows raise in stunned amusement. "You do?"

"Marry me, Livvie."

"Okay mister, you are _definitely_ delirious." Olivia chuckles softly as she cups his jaw, smoothing her thumb over his cheekbone. "Will you please rest?"

To her surprise Fitz gives in easily, letting the exhaustion and her gentle caresses lull him into sleep.

* * *

The following morning Fitz wakes to find Olivia deliciously warm against him, her bare legs intertwined with his. He blinks a few times, getting his bearings, trying to recollect the previous night but it's all a blur. When he turns onto his side to gaze at the love of his life, he finds her peacefully sleeping beside him.

Sometimes he's overwhelmed with just how much he loves her. It's taken them so long to get to where they are now, and they've had to fight through more pain than most people experience in a lifetime, he can hardly believe they made it. It's mornings like this when he wakes up with her, safe in his arms, that he's reminded of how lucky he is. He traces his fingertips lightly over the bridge of her nose, her cheekbones and along her jawline, committing every inch of her angelic face to memory. When his thumb brushes over her full lips, her eyes flutter open and she smiles dreamily.

"Hi."

"Hi," Olivia edges closer, capturing his lips in a chaste kiss. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Much better." Fitz answers as she lays a hand across his forehead, checking his temperature.

"Your fever's gone." Her fingers push an untamed curl back off his face.

"Thank you for taking care of me."

"Do you remember anything that happened last night? Anything you said?" She tries to keep her expression unreadable, but there's a sparkle in her eyes she can't hide.

"I remember throwing up and Marcus forcing me to go home… And I remember lying with my head in your lap… But that's all."

"Oh. That's interesting."

"Why? What happened? Did I embarrass myself?"

Olivia shakes her head, grinning at him. "You asked me to marry you."

" _What_?" Fitz's eyes bulge out of his head, his expression is a picture of horror.

"I didn't say yes." She teases him and pinches his chin between her thumb and forefinger. "I would never say yes without a ring."

"Oh really?" A slow smirk edges onto his face. "Well, next time I propose I'll definitely have a ring, so you better say yes."

Her eyes widen slightly and an elated giggle sounds from her lips as she leans in to kiss the smirk right off his face. He easily rolls her onto her back and pushes himself between her thighs, grinding his stiffening erection down against her.

"Well, it feels like _somebody_ has made a full recovery…" Olivia tips her head back and exhales a breathy laugh as he dips lower, lining her throat and collarbones with kisses.

"Mmm, I have." Fitz hums in agreement, reaching beneath the sheets to hook his fingers under the waistband of her silk panties and tug them down. "You took care of me, now let me take care of _you_."

She makes no attempt to fight against him, allowing him to strip her out of his Navy t-shirt that she's unofficially claimed as her own. His teeth leave indentations on her skin as he trails nibbling kisses down her stomach. He digs his fingers into her soft thighs when he lifts her legs around his shoulders and he makes her squeal when he gently bites her inner thigh. She _loves_ it when he's like this, a little rough and animalistic in his hunger for her; it drives her insane.

Her hands slide into his hair, grabbing fistfuls of it and when he finally puts his mouth on her, she's already wet and whimpering softly at the way his tongue swirls around her clit, just barely touching it. A long, drawn-out moan comes from her throat as he presses two fingers inside her slick heat. Her hips jerk as he strokes her g-spot experimentally, applying pressure in just the right way to make her growl out his name.

"You like that, baby?" Fitz murmurs against her clit and the vibrations from his voice send a shudder through her.

"Yes. _More_." Olivia demands lowly, biting her lower lip as she gazes down at him with pleading eyes.

When he adds a third finger she cries out, arching her back, and he smirks darkly at how sensitive she is. He's relentless with her, fucking her with his fingers as he sucks at her clit. She comes fast and hard, the overwhelming force of her orgasm knocks the air out of her lungs and makes her entire body tremble and seize up.

After, when her breathing has evened out a little, he carries her through to the bathroom and pulls her into the shower with him. Her lips barely leave his as he presses her up against the cool tiled wall, hitching her thighs up around his waist.

"Baby," Olivia sighs out, threading her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. "Did you mean that before? About proposing?"

"I did. I'm gonna ask you to marry me and do it right this time." Fitz declares with a boyish grin as he aligns his cock at her center. "You ready?"

She barely has a chance to get the word 'yes' out before he's plunging himself deep inside her.

* * *

 ** _One week later…_**

It's late when she calls, he's just unbuttoning his shirt in his hotel suite following a long night at a donor dinner, trying to persuade Wall Street's elite to invest more into his institute. He accepts her call, wedging his phone between his shoulder and his ear to free up his hands.

"Hi." Fitz greets her smoothly but the grin he's wearing immediately slips from his face when he hears her breath stutter. "Livvie?"

She doesn't respond right away. The broken gasps for air coming from the other end of the line make his heart sink.

"Liv, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine," A shuddery sob escapes her, contradicting her statement instantly. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"What happened? Please talk to me, Liv."

"I – I had a nightmare." She doesn't have to elaborate further; though she'd never been able to detail the content, he knows how harrowing her nightmares were when her PTSD was at its worst.

Suddenly the distance between them is too much to bear, he just _need_ _s_ to be there to comfort her. "I'm coming home."

"No, Fitz, it's okay. I'm okay."

"You're not okay."

"But you're in New York. You can't just fly back because I'm upset."

"I can and I am. Don't argue with me, Liv. Let me do this."

He's almost anticipating a fight, but then she softly concedes with a quiet mumble of 'okay' and he knows she must be in worse shape than he'd imagined because she rarely ever accepts his help and actually _allows_ him to take care of her.

* * *

When Fitz arrives at their D.C. home less than two hours later, Olivia's still awake, sitting up in bed with her knees hunched up at her chest. The TV is on with the volume down low, but her eyes are glazed over and he can tell she's not focusing; she's _miles_ away mentally. He kicks his shoes off and crawls onto the bed, taking her into his arms without saying a word. Her hands slide around his back to grip his neck feebly, she inhales a sharp, uneven gasp as she buries her face against his chest. It's unnervingly similar to the position they were once in, a few short years ago, in the bunker.

"It's okay, I've got you." He soothes gently as he strokes her hair and her back, feeling her stuttered breathing gradually calm down as a result of his comfort.

"I dreamed about the assassination attempt on you." Her voice is so quiet he isn't sure he's hearing her correctly.

His hands freeze in place, buried in her soft curls and laying flat against the base of her spine. "Hmm?"

"The shooting. At your birthday gala." She clarifies and tightens her grip on the base of his neck, like she's checking he's real and he's still here with her.

His heart almost shatters at the idea that she's still plagued by something he's long moved on from. "Oh, Livvie."

"It still terrifies me, the thought of you –"

"I'm okay though, Liv. I'm not going anywhere."

She eases back, brows furrowed. "You got shot and I was trying to fight my way through the crowd, trying to get to you. But I couldn't…"

Fresh tears gather in her eyes as she recounts her nightmare to him. It's difficult to watch her unravel like this, but he knows she needs to talk out her feelings; while he doesn't immediately interrupt her, he's also careful to not let her dive off the deep end with her trauma, gently consoling her by pulling one of her hands into his.

"And when I finally got to you, you were… You were _dead_." She chokes the word out and it hangs in the air stagnantly.

"Olivia," He lifts her chin up with the tips of his fingers, forcing her to meet his gaze. "It's okay. You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine, I'm just worried about _you_."

"I know. You didn't have to come back early, Fitz."

"I had a choice of either spending a sleepless night in a hotel, worrying about how you are, or flying home to be with you. Of course, I'm always going to choose this option."

She exhales out unsteadily, shaking her head softly. "I haven't had a nightmare like this for over a year."

"You've had nightmares about the shooting before?" He brushes his thumb over her cheekbones, catching her tears and wiping them away.

"They were mostly about the kidnapping, Andrew, you… But the worst were about the shooting. Feeling trapped, like I couldn't get to you…" Her breath stutters as she gets more and more worked up, struggling to keep her emotions under control.

"Shhh, it's okay, it's okay." He hushes her, deciding this isn't helping her right now. Wrapping his arms back around her tiny frame, he pulls her against his chest. "I know you don't want to hear it, but I'd like you to think more about seeing a therapist to try to work through all this… Just think about it. That's all I ask."

She falls silent, choosing not to respond to him. Instead, she buries herself in the protection of his embrace, letting his warmth radiate into her as he cradles her against his chest.

"I don't like sleeping without you holding me." She mumbles after her tears have subsided.

"Me neither, baby." He agrees softly, his lips press a tender kiss between her furrowed brows.

"I know it's stupid but…"

"I'm sure whatever it is, it's not stupid. Tell me."

Her chest heaves with an exasperated sigh. "When I sold my apartment and we bought this house together, I never thought how empty it'd feel to spend the night alone here. In Vermont it's different because it feels like you're with me, it feels like _home_ , but here... It's just not the same."

"I felt the same way when I stayed here without you the first time." He admits in a hushed tone, just catching the flicker of surprise in her gaze. "I mean it, I kept waking up on your side of the bed."

"You did?"

"It happens a lot I'm away from you."

"We're pathetic." A tiny laugh escapes her throat and she shakes her head pitifully. "Can't even go one night without each other."

"We're just making up for lost time." He reasons, his lips curving with a faint smile. "All those years of nights spent apart were undeserved."

She hums in agreement and cups the back of his neck, drawing him close to give him a chaste kiss. "You should get out of your suit."

"Mm, I will. Just need one minute."

That _one minute_ stretches longer than usual, until she's sleeping peacefully in his arms and he can eventually find the willpower to pry himself away from her.

* * *

In the morning Fitz is sitting at the breakfast table, furtively glancing up from his newspaper to see Olivia absently picking at a bowl of fruit, a pensive look on her face.

"Liv?"

Her head snaps up and she blinks out of her daze. "I was just thinking."

"About what?" He asks as he takes a sip of his coffee. He tries to sound nonchalant; after the way they'd spent their night he's a little apprehensive to hear what she has to say.

"Therapy." Just saying the word aloud is a lot for her, but he sees a trace of relief wash over her face as she continues, "I want to give it a shot. I don't _want_ to feel like this, like I can't even sleep alone without having a panic attack."

His eyebrows lift in surprise and he folds his newspaper, setting it down beside him. "I have to admit I'm surprised."

"Me too," She exhales a soft laugh, lifting her shoulders with a tiny shrug. "But as hard as it is for me, I need to try to help myself."

"You know I'll support you whatever happens, don't you?"

"I do."

Fitz slides a hand across the table, squeezing her fingers gently as he tries to suppress the sudden thought of _I want to marry you_ as it enters his head for what he's sure is the millionth time.

"There's something else." Olivia begins, watching as he turns her hand over, tracing the creases in her palm with his thumb. "I've enjoyed having time off to do whatever I want these past few months, but… I'm restless."

"So what do you want to do?" He'd sensed her unrest for a while, his only surprise is how long it's taken her to reach this point.

"I like having the freedom to help out at Q.P.A. occasionally and they're still my family, don't get me wrong. I just think it's time I let go. Do something new." She pauses for a long moment, shifting in her seat. "Is the offer for me to come work at the institute still open?"

"You really want that?" He fixes her with a look, eyes wide and unblinking.

"We've talked about it before but I wasn't ready to truly step back from Q.P.A. until now." Her head tilts to one side and her brows knit together. "They've outgrown me."

"Liv, I think the same applies to you. You're in an entirely different place to where you were when you were running things." His fingers lace between hers as a slow smile edges onto his face. "I'd love to have you come work with me, you know that. I just want you to be happy."

She can't help but mirror him with an irrepressible smile of her own. "Working with you, changing the world together… Nothing would make me happier."

"I'll call Marcus and let him know after breakfast."

* * *

 ** _Three weeks after that…_**

Fitz wakes early in the morning to the unmistakable sound of Olivia retching violently, emptying the contents of her stomach in their bathroom. He's out of bed and by her side in seconds, sweeping her hair back off her face and gently rubbing her back in soothing circles as she heaves into the toilet bowl.

"Ugh, Jesus." She slumps back against the wall with a feeble whimper when she's finally over the worst of it.

His hand comes up to cup her jaw delicately and he reaches forward discreetly to flush the toilet for her. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"I think so." She sighs, watching him with glassy eyes as he dampens a washcloth and hands it to her. "Can you go get me some water please?"

"Of course." He presses his lips to her forehead before leaving the room.

Fitz is gone for a minute or so and when he returns with a chilled bottle of water, Olivia's still in the spot he left her in on the tiled floor. He opens the cap for her and she reaches out, taking it from him, swallowing a tentative sip.

"I need to brush my teeth." Her voice is so faint and she looks so small, he just wants to cradle her in his arms until she feels better.

"Here, I'll help you up." He offers gently, half anticipating her to argue against him but she agrees with a weak nod.

She lets him wrap an arm around her waist and he carefully assists her as he pulls her to her feet. Her balance is off at first and she stumbles forward, but he's close behind her, carefully holding her hips to steady her.

"I've got you."

She gives him a pathetic smile in the mirror and goes through the motions of cleaning her teeth, letting herself lean back into his strong frame because for once she doesn't care enough to fight against appearing weak in front of him – and she knows, without him having to say it, that he doesn't care about that either. He's never cared about that.

"C'mere. Let's get you back to bed, okay?" His arm loops around her back again and he takes her hand, supporting all of her weight with ease as he guides her back into their room.

"I should call Abby, she ordered the same as me when we had dinner last night." Olivia climbs back into bed with his help, huffing out an irritable sigh.

"You think it's food poisoning?"

"It's just a guess."

"Maybe it's stomach flu like I had." Fitz wonders aloud, leaning down to push her hair back, laying his palm flat against her forehead. "You're not feverish. How are you feeling? I can stay home and take care of you."

"No, you have that meeting with Senator Murray about the prison reform bill this morning. It's bad enough I can't be there."

"I can reschedule–"

"No."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. I'll be fine."

"Okay. Do you want me to get you anything else before I take a shower?"

"No thanks. Go shower, you're going to be late."

Twenty minutes later Fitz is fastening his cufflinks when a thought crosses his mind.

"Do you think you could maybe be pregnant?"

Olivia's eyebrows shoot up at the revelation. "I… I don't know."

It isn't like they've been trying; she's still taking the pill and she hasn't even thought to actively keep track of her ovulation cycle. He can see the wheels turning as a look of panic washes over her and her eyes dart around the room. The glazed over expression on her face fades and she looks at him, exhaling a soft breath.

"I guess it's not impossible." Her lips twitch with the faintest hint of a smile.

He takes a seat on the edge of the mattress beside her. "You should take a test."

"I have one in the bathroom cabinet."

"You do?"

"Yes. After we started talking about the possibility of having children months ago, I stocked up."

"What are we waiting for? Let's do it now."

She giggles at her eagerness when he takes her hand. "No. You need to go to work and meet with the senator. We can do it later."

"Fine." He heaves a petulant sigh, he knows it's too important to miss. "But I'm coming home right after the meeting."

"Okay." She relents with a tiny grin, knowing how much patience this is taking him and if he had his way he'd skip work entirely, so this is a good compromise.

* * *

Olivia places the pink cap on the end of the pregnancy test she's holding as she emerges from the bathroom.

"How long does it take?"

"Three minutes."

Fitz exhales quietly, almost inaudibly, but she catches it. A soft smile lines her lips and she moves over to where he's sitting at the end of the bed, perching on the mattress beside him.

"You can't wait a few more minutes?"

"I've been going out of my mind all morning, you have no idea." A soft frown creases his forehead and he sighs again, looping his arms around her to pull her closer. "Senator Murray was driving me crazy with all his god-awful jokes. He's so monotonous, I couldn't even focus."

"Hey, be nice. He's helping our cause." She pecks his pouted lips lightly. Her eyes study him carefully for a moment as her expression sobers. "Look, I don't want you to be disappointed by the result."

"I won't–"

"Fitz, listen to me. You can try to downplay it all you want, but I can already see it in your eyes. You _want_ this."

He opens his mouth to argue but she has a point; she can see right through him, like always. "You're right, I do. But whatever happens, I can handle it."

"I just don't want you to get too far ahead of yourself. I'm probably not even pregnant." Her gaze drifts from his and her brows furrow.

"What if you are? How would you feel?" He asks in a quiet voice, almost afraid of her answer.

Olivia tenses up beside him, still avoiding eye contact. "I – I don't know. It would be a lot to process."

"It's okay to be scared, Livvie." The way Fitz speaks so softly as his thumbs massage circles into the small of her back reminds her that this is _Fitz_ , and he's _right_.

"I know. I'm not alone, I've got you." She exhales a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. It's difficult for her to admit that he's actually _allowed_ to support her, that sometimes she _needs_ him there, but her recent therapy sessions have made it easier for her to accept.

"You'll always have me." His lips meet her neck when he nuzzles into her, she can't help but giggle quietly. A quick glance at his watch tells him it's time. "Shall we look?"

Her breath hitches in her throat and she meets his stare. "Can I have one minute before we find out?"

"Of course."

She sighs out, cuddling closer to breathe in his comforting scent, allowing herself a moment for the warm relief to spread through her body, replacing the tension that's built up. He's patient, letting her end their minute only when she's finally ready to.

"You look, I don't think I can." Olivia's eyes are fixed on his face as he takes the test from her, flipping it over to study it. She watches his brows twitch up and his eyes widen slightly.

"What?"

"It's positive." Despite the fact this is the result he'd been hoping for, Fitz still sounds stunned.

She grabs his hand and lifts it up to inspect the test herself; sure enough, two well-defined pink lines have appeared on it. Her eyes turn glassy and she's transfixed by the sight in front of her.

"Liv, I know this is overwhelming. Whatever you want to do, I'll support you. This is your body and I'd never dream of trying to persuade you to–"

"Fitz, stop." She interrupts his rambling with a slow smile. "I didn't know how I would feel. Thinking about it in a vague, hypothetical sense is entirely different to actually being pregnant... But now that I know it's real? I want this."

His brows lift up and he looks a little bewildered, as if this is the last thing he could've ever imagined. "You do?"

"I do." With one hand she tenderly cups his jaw, stroking her thumb over his cheek. "I never envisaged us being in the place we are now. I'm ready for this – for _us_. I want us to have a baby."

He almost drops to his knees and asks her to marry him; the temptation to do has never been more overwhelming than in that moment. But now isn't the time; though he knows she'd say yes, she deserves better than an impromptu, shotgun proposal following the positive result of a pregnancy test.

"I'm so in love with you, you know that?" He breathes out, the warm feeling of intense adoration spreading through his ribcage.

"You may have mentioned it once or twice." Her faint smile has now blossomed into an uncontrollable grin.

She pinches his chin gently between her thumb and pointer finger as she pulls him close to kiss him lovingly. Their pace is slow but sensual, with a growing intensity that leaves him hungry for more. When she nips at his bottom lip he can't take it any longer.

"How's your nausea?" Fitz murmurs into her mouth, his voice low with arousal.

"It's much better," Olivia's eyes are hazy as she eases back a few inches. "Why?"

"I have a few ideas." He smirks darkly, her faux innocence only causes his need for her to escalate.

She frowns in disappointment when he gets up and takes a step towards the bathroom. "Where are you going?"

"Well, what I have in mind requires me to have my hands free, so I'm throwing this in the trash." He teases, taking his time to dispose of the pregnancy test.

As he walks back into the room, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, there's a sparkle in his eye that makes her flustered and a little breathless. She lifts her silk cami over her head and leans back on her elbows, exposing her already erect nipples to his hungry stare.

"Fuck, you're beautiful." He practically growls at her, biting his bottom lip.

It doesn't take him long to strip out of his clothes after that; he can't keep up his drawn-out pace when all he wants – _needs_ – is to feel her bare skin against his. He climbs on top of her, taking even more care to keep his weight off her than usual. Her hands cup the back of his neck when he dips down, capturing her mouth in a feverish kiss. Whimpers sound from her throat at the feeling of his tongue caressing hers; his ability to drive her to the brink of insanity with something as simple as a kiss is almost too much. Her head is spinning with desire when he begins to trail his lips down her throat, between her breasts and she fists her hands in his hair, gripping his curls tightly.

When Fitz reaches her belly button, he presses lingering kisses over her lower abdomen and the gesture makes Olivia's breath hitch in her throat.

"I love you." He declares softly against her skin. She isn't sure if he's talking to her or the new life growing inside of her; as if he reads her mind, he glances up at her and clarifies with a smile, "Both of you."

"C'mere," She breathes, gently tugging at his hair and he takes the hint, crawling back up on top of her. "Make love to me."

When he hooks his fingers under the waistband of her silk pajama bottoms, she lifts her hips up to help him drag them down along with her lace thong. Her thighs wrap around him, locking him in place and a low groan comes from his throat when he presses his erection at her center and he feels her arousal already coating him. They resume kissing sensuously and the slow, slick grind of his hips against hers makes her writhe and whimper beneath him. Her back arches up off the bed when the head of his cock bumps against her clit and he cups one of her breasts, rolling her hardened nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

Fitz is too focused on kissing her to notice Olivia's hand sliding between them until she wraps her fingers around his length. The firm grip she has on him as she works him up and down, brushing her thumb over his tip, makes him pant hotly against her lips.

"Liv, you better stop that." He growls low through a clenched jaw, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Or what?" Her lashes flutter innocently; her eyes are almost black with desire.

She doesn't stop stroking him until he grabs her wrist and pins it against the pillow above her head. He has no self-control to hold back any longer and dips lower, positioning himself at her entrance. When he presses deep into her, sighing at the feeling of her hot body enveloping his cock, she arches her back with a relieved moan.

They rock together slowly, easily finding their rhythm as he lavishes her neck and collarbones with kisses. They're so intuitive when it comes to making love to each other now; after a decade of practice they don't need to vocalize their needs as much, it comes naturally. Even with their slow pace when she starts keening breathlessly, he knows she's close and he pulls out.

"Fitz, don't tease me. Please. God, _please_." Olivia's needy begging sends a chill down his spine.

Fitz kneels upright, pulling her hips into him and tilting them so that she's at the perfect angle for him to slide back into her. From this new position she moans and gasps with every steady thrust, feeling the delicious pressure of his cock rubbing against her g-spot. She brings her wrist – the one he'd had pinned down moments earlier – up to rest on her forehead as he fucks into her.

"Is that good, Livvie? You like that?" He pants out unsteadily, feeling his own orgasm nearing. He thinks about stroking her clit to bring her to the edge but decides that he wants her to come from him being inside her alone.

"Yes, yes, _oh God_ , yes!" Her moans have taken on a different kind of intensity and she reaches out, grabbing his forearms for stability.

He lifts her legs up over his shoulders and thrusts faster until her eyes slam shut and she screams, her entire body spasms as she comes hard. She's so responsive to him, the way she tightens and quivers around him and her hips jerk against his pushes him over the edge. His climax is long and intense, but she's still twitching with aftershocks when he pulls out and collapses on his back beside her.

A breathless giggle escapes her lips when she catches his eye and sees how _ruined_ he is. She shuffles closer, tangling their legs together.

He exhales heavily and shakes his heat at her. "You're going to be the death of me."

"I hope not..." She pauses for a beat, eyes glittering with happiness. "I don't want to be a single parent."

The corners of his mouth tug into a lazy grin at the reminder of their future together. "You're going to be an _incredible_ mom. I can't wait."


	7. Tease

_**A/N: I posted a tiny snippet of this on tumblr (my url is makingjaminvermont) and I decided to post the rest here. It's set post season 7 and I'd intended it to be a prequel to the It Ends With Us series, but it also stands alone and you don't need to have read that). It's unfinished and a little rough, but I hope you still like it!**_

* * *

Two and a half weeks have passed since Olivia last spent the night with Fitz and it's the longest amount of time they've gone without having sex since their reconciliation. They'd been alternating between staying at her apartment and his hotel room, but following a ten day visit to France, Italy and Japan he had to make, they've both been too busy to line their schedules up and fit in some time with each other.

It's not like they haven't been able to cope with distance before, but now that there's nothing standing between them and they're able to be a couple out in the open, she's feeling the strain. They're going to be seeing each other in a few days, but it just isn't soon enough for her. Frankly, she's _restless_ with need for him and after tossing and turning in bed for a solid hour, she switches on the lamp sitting on the nightstand and reaches for her cell.

She forgoes texting him, instead typing a message into the encrypted app Quinn had installed on both of their phones, claiming they'd _absolutely_ be thanking her later.

 _What are you doing right now? Miss you._

Fitz responds almost instantly and she can't help but smile when her cell buzzes with a series of messages.

 _Oh. So we're finally messaging here... I see._

 _I'm still at the office._

 _The jet lag is really kicking my ass but I have a ton of projects Marcus has lined up, so I'm reading through the proposals now and deciding what to take on._

 _And I miss you too. So goddamn much._

Olivia types two replies quickly, absentmindedly brushing her tongue at the corner of her lips.

 _It's almost midnight, go home Fitz… Or better yet, come to my apartment._

 _I didn't realize how cold it would be without all the furniture in it, but it's so lonely and empty now that I'm almost done packing._

She sprawls out, spreading herself across her sheets, sending another quick message.

 _Guess what I rediscovered when I started boxing up my clothes…_

It takes a couple minutes for him to respond and her phone vibrates again.

 _I wish I could but I can't, baby. I have a meeting in the morning._

 _Plus I told you I could hire some people to help you pack._

 _Did you find more high heels and coats than any human being needs?!_

Olivia snaps a picture, perfectly framing her body in the shot, making sure to capture parted lips. She writes a short caption to go along with the photo.

 _Sure you can't come over?_

Within ten minutes her phone buzzes with a call and she smirks triumphantly, knowing her photo has had the desired effect on Fitz.

"You don't play fair, Livvie." He whines as soon as she answers his call.

She giggles at his expense, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm in my office, _trying_ to work and you send me a photo of yourself wearing _that_ lingerie set, knowing there's nothing I can do about it."

"I just thought you'd _want_ to reminisce… I did wear this the first night we spent together, you know." Her lips curve into a dark smile as she slides a hand down, brushing her fingertips over the lace waistband of her white silk panties.

" _Of course_ I know. You're a fucking tease, baby." Fitz huffs out a sigh of a frustration and it just makes her want to torment him more.

"I'm not the one who's refusing to come over for a _long_ overdue night with his very horny girlfriend." Olivia bites her lower lip when she hears his muted groan on the other end of the line. "Mister, you're the tease."

"You know, you could take care of yourself."

She scoffs, "It's not the same. I want _you_."

"Just try, okay? Close your eyes and imagine it's me touching you."

"Your hands are so much bigger and better at this." She declares with a pout, but slips her fingers into her panties anyway, immediately coming into contact with the slick wetness there. "Ungh _Fitz_. I miss you."

"Miss you too. I promise we'll have all weekend together." He's quiet for a few minutes, listening to the quickening of her breath as she strokes slow circles over her clit. "Livvie, are you touching yourself?"

"Yeah," Olivia's voice comes out in a breathy whisper.

She's not at all anticipating the next request Fitz has for her. "Show me?"

" _Show_ you?"

"Mmm."

Using her free hand, she pulls her phone away from her ear and returns to the messaging app, taking a couple more photos to send to him. They're no more revealing than the first one, but from the new angle with her thighs parted, the small wet patch on her panties is unmistakable.

"Oh _fuck_." His reaction sends a chill down her spine and she can't suppress the grin forming on her face.

"You like?"

"You _know_ I do."

"What would you do if you were here with me?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Baby, please. Tell me."

"I'd fuck you with my fingers hard and fast, make you come quickly, deliberately, so I could play with you."

"And then?"

"Then I'd put my mouth on you, I wouldn't even give you a chance to catch your breath."

Olivia feels herself getting more and more turned on, the evidence of her arousal coats her fingers and drenches her panties. It blows her mind that he still has so much power over her with just the use of his voice, he's able to make her even wetter with just a few words.

"I wouldn't make you come again."

"You uh – _what?_ " The annoyance as she comes out of her haze of lust makes him chuckle.

"I'd want to tease you." There's a devilish tone to his voice that borders on cruel. "Call it revenge for you teasing me, baby."

"Need I remind you that _you_ are the tease in all this?" She fires back breathlessly, writhing against her fingertips.

He laughs again; of course, even when she's intoxicated with desire she _still_ won't let him win the smallest of arguments.

"I'd go down on you but I'd take such a slow pace you'd be _begging_ me to make you come. But I wouldn't until I _wanted_ to let you come."

She whimpers and he _knows_ he has her. At some point she's put him on speaker to free her other hand and removed her bra, so now she's able to pinch her nipples.

"I'd bring you right to the edge so many times you'd feel dizzy with need."

"What if I gave you head?"

"What?"

"Would you let me come then?"

Fitz is quiet for a few seconds as he considers her hypothetical offer. "It might help persuade me..."

"I _love_ the feel of you in my mouth."

"You do?"

"It turns me on." Olivia pauses and arches her back, breathing out a hushed moan. "You taste so good."

"You taste better. Love going down on you almost as much as I love being inside you." There's nothing false about his statement, she knows all too well how much he enjoys it.

They fall into a comfortable silence for a while and he just listens to her soft, breathy whimpers until a growl of frustration leaves her lips. "I wish you were here."

"Are you close, baby?"

"Yeah –"

"Show me."

Olivia bites her bottom lip. She doesn't immediately take another picture because she suddenly feels a little too exposed, _vulnerable_.

"Livvie, it's just me," Fitz says tenderly, sensing her insecurity and apprehension. God, _this man_.

She shakes off the hesitation and takes a few photos, sending them without allowing herself to overthink it too much. His reaction makes it totally worth it; he groans deeply, sounding absolutely tortured that he isn't able to see her in real life.

"Fuck, Liv. I'm so in love with you."

"You are, huh?"

"More than anything."

"Maybe – maybe you should _prove it_ when we're together." Her chest heaves and she works her fingers over her clit faster at the thought of him making love to her. "It's been so long… Think I may need reminding…"

"Oh don't worry, I plan to." She can hear the grin in his voice and it just turns her on more. "And after I've turned you into a whimpering mess by going down on you over and over, pushing you to the edge but never over it, when you think you can't take anymore _then_ I'll make you come so hard you'll forget your own name."

" _Oh fuck._ "

"And while you're still trembling and sensitive I'll take you."

" _Fitz_ –"

"I'll go slow at first, but when I know you're ready for it I'll fuck you senseless."

His words have her moaning, teetering on the edge and she's too far gone to hear her apartment door being unlocked, too focused on chasing her orgasm to notice the soft footsteps being taken towards her bedroom. She comes with a low groan, arching her back and she's panting as she teases out the aftershocks.

" _Wow_."

Olivia should be more surprised to see Fitz standing in the doorway, especially since he could've just given her a goddamn _heart attack_ by sneaking into her apartment and announcing his presence like that. But she's just overwhelmed with how happy she is to see him.

"Get over here right _now_."

He doesn't need to be told twice; she squeals with an airy giggle when he pounces on her immediately. He kisses her hungrily, groaning into her mouth as she matches his passion, and she feels him gently pulling her hand from her soaked panties. He eases back slightly, staring intently at her and he lifts her hand to suck her fingers between his lips, growling low in his throat at the taste of her. His actions are so deeply erotic, a shudder runs through her body and she can't contain the whimper that escapes her.

"Sorry, couldn't resist. Just had to taste you first." He smirks, licking the tip of her middle finger one last time. "Hi."

"Hi." Her eyes are hazy with renewed lust. She works his buttons on his shirt free, gliding her palms over his taut muscles. "What are you doing here?"

"I spoke to Marcus, told him he could handle the meeting alone tomorrow." He explains, watching the way her eyes darken when she unbuckles his belt. "I left my office as soon as you sent that photo, I couldn't stand being away from you for another second."

"You're so whipped." A delighted grin spreads across her face and she unbuttons his pants, slowly dragging the zipper down.

"Mmhm." He admits unashamedly, he doesn't even care at this point; she has him wrapped around her little finger. "You're gonna get me in trouble."

"You have _no_ idea."


	8. It Ends With Us: IV

_**A/N: Where do I even begin? It's been forever and I'm so, so sorry for that. I've had a lot going on with family and college, but I've finally gotten around to rewriting and finishing this chapter. It's probably best if you reread the last chapter before this, I know it's been a long time since my last update and there's a lot going on in this one...**_

* * *

Their joy is short-lived.

It's merely ten days after the discovery of the pregnancy and Fitz is tying his laces, ready to take Buddy out for a run, when Olivia walks into the living room. The broken, glazed over look in her eyes immediately makes his breath catch and he does a double-take, snapping his gaze back onto her. And then he sees her hand trembling at her side, fingers covered in blood matching the deep red stains seeping into her pajama bottoms.

Time seems to slow down from that moment.

He strides forward, closing the distance between them to grasp her shoulders gently.

"Liv, we're going to go to the hospital, okay?" He prays the trepidation and fear isn't evident in his voice, but inside he's _terrified_.

She barely manages to nod and lets him walk her back to their bedroom, where he helps her get cleaned up and changed into a pair of yoga pants and his Navy sweater.

For once, Fitz doesn't put up a fight and actually allows secret service to drive them, choosing to sit on the backseat with Olivia instead. The journey is quiet; he clutches her hand in a tight, reassuring grip, silently reminding her he's there.

They're quickly ushered into a private room when they arrive at the hospital, where a doctor is already waiting for them. It's only then that she retracts her hand from his and turns to him, brows furrowed.

"Can you wait outside for me, please?" She's been silent up until this moment and her request makes him instantly uneasy.

"Of course, if that's what you want."

It's not what _he_ wants. Giving her the option to shut him out makes bile rise in his throat, but he can't argue with her, not when she's vulnerable and pleading with him like this. It kills him to leave her alone with the doctor, but he does as she asks _because_ he loves her.

He waits.

And waits.

Minutes drag on that feel like hours and just as he thinks he's about to lose his mind, he's called back into the room. The second he sees Olivia's dazed expression it feels like a punch in the gut and he _knows_.

He doesn't need to see the doctor give her an ultrasound scan to have his worst fears confirmed, but the silence, the absence of a heartbeat, is truly devastating. His stomach drops and tears cloud his vision because this _can't be happening_. This isn't _fair_. They've been through _enough_.

He can't even focus on what the doctor is saying and from that point, it's all a blur. Having been told her options, Olivia quietly agrees to a D&C procedure to remove the remaining tissue from her uterus. She's given a gown to change into, then the doctor excuses herself from the room to prepare for surgery and give them some privacy.

He's drawn out of his daze when she exhales an unsteady breath of air and he turns his head, immediately recognizing that he needs to pull himself together and be there for her because he can see the fear and trepidation in her eyes. Truthfully he's scared too, but instead, he pushes that thought into the back of his mind and takes her hand.

"Liv, it's going to be okay. It'll be over soon." Usually, Fitz knows exactly what to say to make things better, but his choice of words make the reality of their situation cut even deeper; they both feel it, the crushing weight of their grief.

"Hold me?" Olivia whispers, sounding like she's almost about to fall apart and his heart _shatters_.

He gently pulls her out of her chair and lifts her into his lap just as she inhales a sharp breath. He feels her tears on his neck, his arm tightens around her waist and he rubs her back in soothing circles, letting her cry quietly against him. It takes every ounce of self-control he has to hold it together for her, but he still can't stop a few of his own tears from escaping his eyes.

After a couple of minutes, she slowly peels herself away from him. He quickly tries to compose himself and rubs his hand over his face, while she takes off her clothes and slips the hospital gown over her head.

"I have to take off my jewelry for the procedure. Will you take this for me?" Olivia's voice is hoarse and quakes with emotion as she reluctantly slides Doux Bébé down her finger.

"I'll keep it safe for you." He promises, taking the ring from her to place it in his shorts pocket.

There's a knock at the door and the doctor reenters the room, all set to take Olivia into theater.

"We're ready for you, Miss Pope."

She nods and takes a step forward, but Fitz stands up and catches her hand to stop her. His brows furrow with concern as he stares down at her, shaking his head softly.

"I love you. I'll be right here waiting for you."

* * *

The procedure is over within fifteen minutes and following a few hours in recovery, when the anesthesia has worn off a little, Olivia is discharged from the hospital.

It's dark by the time they finally arrive home. Fitz walks her from the car to the front door, leading her through to the living room. When she sits on the couch, he makes his way to their bedroom to change the bloody sheets and clothes she'd discarded this morning, cleaning up the last physical reminders of her miscarriage before she has to see them.

He returns to their living room to find her staring into space, unable to focus on anything. She looks so lost it's _gut-wrenching_ ; his throat burns, fresh tears sting his eyes and he has to take a full minute to compose himself, then he steps towards her, hand outstretched.

"Come on, let's get you to bed. You should rest."

She nods, letting him pull her to her feet and support her until she's in their room, burying herself beneath the covers on their bed.

"You hungry? I can make you some dinner or order in, whatever you want." He asks and she doesn't respond verbally, she just shakes her head softly. "Do you just want to sleep?"

She gives a weak nod and lets her eyes slide shut, giving into exhaustion. It's difficult but he knows that all she wants right now is space. He decides to give it to her as he leans down to press a tender kiss to her forehead, then places Doux Bébé on her nightstand and leaves her alone, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Fitz has lost track of time – and the number of glasses of scotch he's consumed – when he finally drags himself to bed.

He's spent hours trying to numb the pain, trying to forget how deep their loss cuts him, but the moment he lays eyes on Olivia's tiny figure sleeping in their bed it finally breaks him. He can't contain the emotion anymore; it tears through his chest and he sinks to his knees, suddenly overcome with devastation. His vision blurs with uncontrollable tears, his throat burns as he struggles to hold back.

His heart aches for the new life in their future that was so cruelly snatched away. Nothing about this is fair. He'd let go of the idea of ever having children with her long ago; it hadn't seemed feasible after they'd broken up when she'd lived in the White House with him for a short time. It only became a vague possibility since they'd reconciled and really began to figure out what they both wanted with their life, settling together and making plans.

He's been blissfully happy with her, more than content to live the rest of his life with her in his arms, but then he'd had a glimpse of _what-could-be_. When they'd discovered her pregnancy he was overjoyed, but seeing her nervous excitement at the idea of becoming a mother was what made it all so real.

And now it's over.

The grief is suffocating and overwhelming, he can't breathe through his tears. He doesn't even realize how hard he's crying until he feels Olivia's fingertips gently prying his hands away from his face. She's kneeling at his side and though it's dark he can still see his own heartache mirrored in her expression.

"Come get in bed, Fitz."

He nods wearily, taking a moment to gather himself before climbing into bed with her. His heart aches when she slides her fingers into his hair and pulls him into her embrace because he knows she's hurting too, but she's still doing all that she can to comfort him. Her gentle caresses soothe him as he shudders and sobs quietly against her chest, eventually lulling him to sleep.

* * *

The days that follow are quiet.

The painkillers she's been prescribed keep her in a permanent haze of drowsiness, so Olivia spends her time resting in bed, occasionally moving through to the bathroom to shower and change the pads she's using to contain the bleeding.

Fitz decides to stay in Vermont with her and work from his home office, rescheduling meetings or handing the reigns over to Marcus where it's possible. He tries not to let himself wallow, but as each evening creeps in he falls back into old habits of self-medicating with alcohol, drinking an unhealthy amount of whiskey just to allow his mind to switch off.

On the third day, he finishes looking at applications for potential projects for the institute to take on when he realizes he's reread the same paragraph four or five times, without absorbing a single word.

It's late, much later than he'd intended on spending in the office and he's sure Olivia's ready for dinner, so he heads to their bedroom.

She isn't in bed like he's expecting. The sheets are cool to the touch where they've been pulled back and a wave of mild panic rushes through him because she hasn't even strayed from their room since returning from the hospital. He searches the whole house, only to discover it's empty. The second he steps outside his unease is immediately replaced with relief; she's out on the porch, in one of their 'one minute' chairs, with Buddy sitting at her feet.

"I was just getting a little fresh air." Olivia explains softly, glancing over her shoulder at him when she hears his footsteps approaching.

Fitz takes a seat beside her and ruffles Buddy's fur when he nudges his head into his lap. They're silent for a long moment; he's patient, he knows she's really out here because she needs to talk with him. Since that devastating day at the hospital, they've barely spoken, both too dazed and rendered speechless by their own grief.

"There's something I have to tell you," She begins quietly, her voice cracking with emotion and it's the first time he's seen tears gathering in her eyes since the D&C procedure. "I've kept this from you for a long time, but you deserve to know… At the hospital, the reason why I asked you to leave the room when I went over my medical history was that I had an abortion before."

He leans over, clasping her hand in his reassuringly. "Liv, it's okay… You don't have to–"

"It was yours. When I lived with you in the White House I found out I was pregnant. I thought about keeping it, I did, but I just couldn't –" Her breath catches sharply with a sob and she feels tears sliding down her cheeks before she can stop them. "We were so _broken_ , it would've been unfair to try to raise a child together in that environment... I'm sorry. I don't regret what I did because it was the right decision at the time, our relationship was falling apart… But I should've told you, Fitz."

He takes a long, deep breath before calmly announcing, "I knew."

"What do you mean?" Her eyes widen at him and her heart plummets in her chest. "How–"

"When Abby was looking for dirt on Mellie to help Susan's campaign… I found your medical records on her desk." He watches the realization wash over her as it occurs to her that he's known this for _years_ and he's never said a word.

"But I don't–" She shakes her head, struggling to articulate her thoughts. "Why?"

He understands her question without needing for her to elaborate and squeezes her palm with his thumb, trying to reassure her.

"I was never going to force you to talk about it. At first I was hurt, of course, but I realized that you weren't ready to tell me. That maybe you'd never be ready." He reasons, lifting his shoulders in a defeated shrug. "I wasn't mad at you, I couldn't be."

"You weren't?"

"No. It was your choice to make, Liv. I supported you, even when we were broken up."

Olivia nods slowly, processing everything. Sometimes the way Fitz loves her so unconditionally and _so much_ is difficult to comprehend. The intensity of his love actually _scares_ her; she doesn't know how she's ever supposed to get used to it, she doesn't feel equipped to be loved like this.

"You knew all this time." She reiterates again, out loud, because she's struggling to even begin to understand it.

"Yes. And you were right; back then we weren't in the right place to be able to give a child the best life."

"The thought of bringing a child into such a volatile environment… I-I couldn't."

"I know, sweetheart. We weren't ready." He hesitates, tilting his head to the side. "I'm going to call Mellie, cancel Teddy's visit this weekend."

"What? Fitz, no. I don't want that."

"You're sure you're okay?"

"I'll be fine, I won't let you cancel on Teddy."

"Okay."

Sighing, she turns his hand over and threads her fingers between his. "Have you thought about how you're going to tell him?"

"I don't know, I think I'll just be honest. He's a smart kid. He'll understand."

"He's going to be so disappointed." Her voice trembles as her eyes turn glassy with tears again.

"I know, Liv… God, _I know_." He sounds so drained and devastated, she's compelled to look up from their entwined hands to his face; it hits her hard, makes her shudder out a muted sob.

"He was so excited to be a big brother."

"Yeah," He concurs with a soft shake of his head. "He was."

* * *

"You're sure about this?"

Olivia's gaze shifts from the TV she's been staring blankly at all morning as Fitz emerges from their walk-in closet, carrying two ties. He crosses over to where she's kneeling up in bed and she silently takes the red tie from him as he sits on the edge of the mattress.

"I'll be okay, Fitz." She reassures him softly, knowing how much he needs to hear it from her.

"I don't feel good about this." His brows knit together and he lifts his collar, taking the tie back from her to slip it around his neck.

"You can't keep letting Marcus cover for both of us." She fastens his tie easily, then her fingertips smooth down his collar and straighten the knot.

"If anything happens or you need me –"

"I'll call you."

"Okay." He whispers, holding her gaze for a long moment.

A knock at their bedroom door interrupts the brief silence and she frowns at him with a question forming in her eyes.

"Look, I didn't want you to be alone, so I asked Abby to fly out here last night."

She immediately sighs, shaking her head. "Fitz, you shouldn't have–"

"It's for my own peace of mind."

"Okay." She concedes softly, allowing him to do what he feels he needs to do to take care of her.

He leans down and presses a lingering kiss to her forehead, then finally breaks away to open the bedroom door. Abby's behind it, waiting patiently, armed with a basket of freshly baked blueberry muffins.

"Thanks for flying out at such short notice, I really appreciate it Abby."

"Don't mention it. I'm here for you both, whatever you need."

When Fitz lingers for a few seconds too long, Abby fixes him with a look of ' _don't worry, I've got this_ ' and gives a squeeze on his shoulder as she breezes into the room. She places the muffin basket on the nightstand and envelops Olivia in a brief but warm hug.

"I should go, Marcus is expecting me. Liv, if you need me –"

"I'll call you. Promise."

Out of years of habit, Abby averts her gaze as they share a moment, silently communicating with one another the way two people in love, deeply connected to each other, only know how.

"I'll be back with Teddy around seven, see you later." He forces a smile and slips out of the door, closing it behind him.

Seconds later they hear the front door close too, and Abby turns to Olivia, studying her friend's appearance for the first time. It's a rare occasion that she's left her usually sleek hair in its natural curls, tied back off of her face in a ponytail. Dark rings circle her eyes and Abby makes the safe assumption she hasn't slept well for days.

"How are you feeling?"

Olivia inhales deeply because it's such a loaded question, one she's not even sure she knows how to answer.

"I'm – I'm okay. I mean, the recovery has been rough on my body, but I've been resting and Fitz hasn't let me lift a finger. I'm doing better."

"And mentally?" Abby pushes gently, daring to press forward.

Olivia's brows knit together and she shakes her head lightly, swallowing against the lump in her throat.

"I haven't really let myself think about it too much… It's – it's a lot." Her chest aches with the pain she hasn't allowed herself to feel, making her pause. "It's just so unfair. Fitz doesn't deserve this."

"Fitz? What about you?"

"He already lost one child, Abby. He's dealt with the worst loss too many times… This just seems like a cruel joke."

It's then that Abby pulls Olivia's hand into hers and squeezes her fingers. "I know, I know. But Liv, you're allowed to grieve too."

"You know, we finally talked about my abortion the other night and I just feel like… I don't have the right to be hurting over this." Olivia's eyes glaze over as tears cloud her vision.

"You can't think like that. All he cared about when he called me was that I was here for you, he's _worried_."

"I should've told him sooner."

"Maybe, but he loves you unconditionally, almost to a fault. He wants to be with you, this was never a deal-breaker for him." A gentle smile outlines Abby's lips and she pats the back of Olivia's hand. "Hey, why don't you take a shower and maybe we can go for a walk?"

"Abby, I don't know–"

"C'mon, you can't stay cooped up in here forever. Some fresh air could be good for you."

One stern look from Abby is just enough of a push for Olivia to slide out from between the covers with a sigh.

"Good. I'll make some tea."

* * *

As the evening draws in and the distant sound of chopper blades grows closer, Buddy barks excitedly at the front door. It's such a small thing, but it brings a faint smile to Olivia's lips and she sits up straighter on the couch to watch the puppy greet Fitz and Teddy.

"Hi."

Fitz's eyes snap up in surprise at the soft sound of her voice. He can already tell that she's doing better today; that the haze of grief is finally lifting a little. She's managed to get changed out of her pajamas, into a soft gray sweater and thick black leggings. Her hair is neatly pressed and she's even taken time to apply light makeup.

" _Hi_." He replies with an easy smile as he makes his way over to her, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"I ordered takeout, it should be here soon. There's wine in the kitchen." Her gaze drifts to Teddy, who's on the floor, rubbing Buddy's belly. "Hey Teddy, wanna come help me pick a movie for us to watch?"

"Sure!" The boy rises to his feet and crosses the room with the puppy following close behind him. "Can we make popcorn?"

"Of course, after dinner." Fitz agrees, reaching for Olivia's half-empty wine glass. "I'll get you a top-up."

She watches him head into the kitchen before turning her attention back to Teddy, who's sitting on the couch beside her. He's already scrolling through Netflix on the TV, silently vetoing several options.

"Dad told me what happened with the baby." His quiet admission makes her heart sink.

"He did?"

"Yeah... Are you okay, Liv?" He glances away from the screen to look at her when she doesn't immediately answer.

"I'm… I'm better." She responds truthfully, deciding that being honest with him is best. "It'll take time for me to feel normal again… It's a horrible thing for anybody to go through."

The boy nods thoughtfully, then tilts his head to one side. "Did it hurt?"

"Yeah, it did. They gave me painkillers like the ones you had when you broke your arm… I'm past the worst of it now though."

"I'm glad you're feeling better." To her surprise, Teddy shuffles close to give her a hug.

"Thank you," Olivia murmurs as she loops her arms around him, encouraging him to rest his head on her shoulder. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Do you need me to get my dad for you?"

"No," She shakes her head softly, half smiling at his consideration for her. "But it is about your dad. I need you to be there for him, okay? He might not ask for help, but this has been really difficult for him."

"I know he's sad." He admits with a muted sigh. "He tried to hide it when he picked me up, but I knew something bad had happened. He's quiet like he is around Jerry's birthday."

Of course, Olivia knows how hard the miscarriage has been for him, but it's particularly devastating to hear Teddy's own observations of his dad's heartache. Her throat burns as she fights back the tears pricking her eyes.

"Yeah," She clears her throat and breathes out a shuddery sigh. "I know this isn't easy for you, either… But maybe you could just try to talk to him, make sure he knows how much you care."

"I will, I promise." He eases back, giving her a kind smile and turns back to the TV. "Can we watch Jungle Book? It's Dad's favorite, we used to watch it a lot when I was little."

She nods gently in agreement. "The DVD's in the drawer."

When Teddy moves off of the couch to find the movie, Olivia looks up, feeling the weight of Fitz's gaze on her. He doesn't need to say a word for her to know he's overheard their conversation; the raw emotion in his stare steals the breath from her lungs.

A teary smile edges onto his face and he walks around the breakfast bar, back into the lounge area. He places her refilled wine glass on the coffee table, then leans down to kiss her forehead sweetly.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Okay, don't hate me, I'm sorry! I know this was a rough one but hear me out, things will get easier for Olitz. I promise!**_


	9. It Ends With Us: V

_**A/N: Thanks so much for all the sweet messages! I really didn't expect such a welcome back to FF after a whole year away, especially as it was such a heavy chapter to come back with. Your responses meant the world to me because it's such a delicate subject, I was nervous about posting it... Anyway, this next one's a lot lighter. Enjoy!**_

* * *

 **Three months later...**

"Fitz and I haven't slept together since the miscarriage."

The words spill from Olivia's lips unexpectedly in Abby's apartment, following dinner and drinks with the girls. Quinn and Abby's eyes meet across the coffee table, sharing a look of apprehension and _shock_ because Olivia has never shared this much about her closely guarded relationship with the former president.

"Things like this take time to heal, Liv." Abby begins with a certain amount of caution.

"I know, it's just…" Olivia trails off, exhaling a frustrated sigh.

"You miss him." Quinn supplies easily, catching the look of surprise in Olivia's gaze. "I know it's not the same, but after I had Robin I didn't feel ready to have sex again for two and a half months. I missed having that intimacy with Charlie, though."

Olivia finds herself nodding in understanding because everything Quinn is saying resonates with her. She laces her fingers together nervously, her eyes drifting to her joined hands.

"Fitz doesn't even sleep in the same bed with me most nights, and when he does he's so far away. I…" She stutters, her breath catches in her throat. "I miss him being close to me."

"Liv, you should talk to him. He probably just thinks you're not ready and you need space. Charlie was the same 'til I jumped him." Quinn shrugs simply with a slight smirk edging onto her face.

"Quinn's right. You know he'll understand, he's a good guy." Abby utters in agreement, reaching for the open bottle of wine to top up their glasses.

"Yes, you're right." A soft smile curves Olivia's lips, "Anyway, you've been awfully coy, Abby. Tell us how things are going with Stephen…"

* * *

The house is quiet when Olivia returns home later and she's sure Fitz went to bed long ago, so she hangs her coat up, takes her heels off at the door and tiptoes through the house. She's expecting him to be asleep, but as she reaches the top of the stairs she sees warm light spilling from an open door.

She follows the clicking sound of a keyboard through to their shared office and leans against the door frame for a moment. Fitz's brow is furrowed with concentration, his eyes fixed on the computer screen in front of him. He breathes out a tired sigh and leans back in his chair, lifting his hands to tuck them behind his head.

"Hi."

He snaps out of his daze with a look of slight surprise on his face. "Hi. I didn't hear you come in."

"I thought you'd be in bed already. What are you working on?"

"I decided to rewrite the speech for my visit to Michigan State University next week, but I can't get it right. I don't know what's missing from it."

"Want me to take a look at it?" She asks as she crosses the room to be at his side.

"No, it's late." He waves a hand dismissively, quickly clicking to save and close the document before she has a chance to convince him. "Hey, how was your night with the girls?"

"Good. It was good." She utters distractedly, moving to perch on the edge of the desk in front of him.

"Something on your mind?" He asks her this from time to time, letting her know he's there to listen without explicitly telling her so.

"I… I miss you."

"I know things have been busy with work, we can try cutting back on time at the office to spend time together if that's what you want?"

Her brows knit together with a soft frown and she shakes her head, "No, not like _that._ I miss being intimate with you. I miss sex with you... Have things changed since–" She pauses, huffing out a sigh of frustration. "Do you still want me?"

He looks at her like she's grown a second head, in complete disbelief that she could ask such a question.

"Liv, of course, I want you. I just… I didn't want to put pressure on you." A muted sigh escapes his lips and he places his hands on her knees. "I promise, I've never stopped wanting you."

"Why did you stop sharing a bed with me?" She asks with trepidation, her voice barely a whisper.

"I… I knew you weren't getting enough sleep. I'd listen to you toss and turn at night, you've been so restless, I thought you needed space. I didn't want to… I just thought…" He struggles to articulate himself because he doesn't truly understand why the distance between them is so uncomfortably tangible now.

She smooths her fingers over the backs of his hands, gently caressing his knuckles with her thumbs. Her body language changes; there's a slight shift of her hips and her legs part a little, but it's not so subtle that he doesn't pick up on it.

"I never wanted that, Fitz. And I don't want you sleeping in the guest room anymore."

"Okay."

Olivia drags his hands up her thighs, slowly relaxing under the heat of his palms. Fitz stares up at her with overwhelming tenderness and warmth in his eyes, then he lifts his head, leaning in to kiss her. The way he captures her lips is slow but self-assured, giving her the control to let things go as far as she wants them to. He's about to pull back when she reaches behind him, burying her fingers in his soft curls.

"Take me to bed."

His hands slide around to grasp her hips, carefully supporting her as he stands up to lift her. The soft brush of her lips along the side of his neck, paired with her warm body subtly grinding against him makes him pause at the door to stop from stumbling. A pained groan sounds from low in his chest and she giggles quietly in response.

"You want me to drop you?"

"Sorry."

She refrains from kissing him, letting him carry her through to their room without incident. When he reaches their bed he spreads her out beneath him, pausing for a moment to study her, checking if she's changed her mind.

As if she's reading his thoughts, she pulls him down for a deep kiss, filled with intense longing.

"I'm sure, I want this. I promise you." A quiet sigh escapes her as she caresses her fingertips over the back of his neck. "Let's make love."

Fitz reaches for the hem of Olivia's blouse and strips her out of it, then continues to kiss her heatedly as his hands slide behind her to unhook her bra, tossing it aimlessly behind himself. When his hands skim the flat planes of her stomach and come up to cup her breasts, she inhales a gasp.

He hesitates, flinching away. "Is – is that okay? You're not too sensitive, are you?"

"No, no, that's perfect." She arches into his touch and sighs contentedly.

"I've been thinking about it," He begins as he shifts lower, unzipping her pants and tugging them down along with her silk panties when she lifts her hips to help him. "I didn't know if you'd be ready or what you could handle… We can experiment, see what feels good. If I hurt you or if you're uncomfortable you have to tell me, okay?"

"Okay." Her fingers begin to loosen the buttons on his shirt, her sultry gaze roams over his newly bared chest.

"Good."

"Now get naked, already. I want you."

A grin edges across his face and he stands up, willfully obeying her request. She's already reaching for him as he kicks his boxers off. The mattress sinks below his weight as he leans over her, propping himself up with one hand, cradling her face with the other.

"I – uh – bought some lube. I didn't know–" He clears his throat, fighting through the mild embarrassment. "I didn't know if you'd–"

"You're very sweet," She hides a smile and pulls his hand away from her cheek, gently guiding it between her thighs. "But I don't think I need it, do you?"

His half-hard erection stiffens the second he feels how wet she is already, and then as he pulls his hand away to suck his fingers and taste her arousal, he's driven even crazier with need when he hears the muted whimper sound from her throat. He kisses a teasing path down her chest, letting his tongue draw lazy circles around her nipples. The muscles in her abdomen clench in anticipation and she grips his shoulders when his lips skim over her belly button.

"I love you." Fitz murmurs lowly against her skin and the weight of the moment suddenly hits him, making him pause.

The similarity isn't lost on Olivia either; the air is stolen from her lungs and tears prick her eyes. It's not unlike the time barely three months ago, when they'd been in a blissful little bubble, utterly _euphoric_ following the discovery of her pregnancy and he'd declared his love to her and their unborn child.

She cups his jaw, compelling him to meet her gaze. For just a few seconds they're able to silently convey just how deep their shared pain runs, then she caresses her thumb over his cheekbone.

"I love you too, Fitz."

When she tangles her fingers in his hair, he takes the hint and resumes kissing his way down her lower abdomen. Her legs part and he can tell how much she needs this from the way her thighs tremble at the feeling of his hot breath against her skin; he doesn't want to draw things out much longer, so he slowly passes the tip of his tongue between her folds. She's instantly responsive to him and tightens her grip on his curls, involuntarily jerking her hips against his face when he begins to swirl his tongue around her clit.

Olivia's been craving this for so long, it doesn't take much before she's panting and writhing in pleasure. When Fitz lifts her legs over his shoulders and presses two fingers inside of her, he easily takes her right to the edge. While sucking at her clit, he massages her g-spot and she _shatters_. Her whole body quakes as he coaxes her through the aftershocks, making it last as long as she can take it.

"Fitz, Fitz, I _need_ you…"

She's still trembling when he crawls up to kiss her. The taste of herself on his tongue makes her groan quietly and tug at his hair. When she wraps her hand around him and feels him throb beneath her fingertips, he exhales hotly against her neck as he kisses the spot below her ear that makes her whimper.

"Make love to me."

Fitz takes it slow, but he can immediately feel the way Olivia tenses up when he's pushing inside her. It's not painful, but the familiar stretch is overwhelming and a little uncomfortable – not at all what she's used to with him. Her brow furrows and he stills his hips, seeing the tension in her jaw.

"Livvie, if it hurts–"

"No, no, it's fine, it's just… It's a lot."

He eases his erection out of her, trying to be as gentle as he can.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong. Your body went through a lot and we haven't had sex in a long time."

She huffs out a sigh of frustration. "I want this. I want _you_."

"I know, baby. Why don't we try something else? How about you get on top?"

When she nods, he rolls over onto his back and pulls her with him, letting her sit in his lap. She kneels up and takes his hands, placing them on her hips and he supports her as she gradually sinks down a few inches on his cock.

"How's it feel?"

"It's… I'm okay, just need a second."

Fitz lies perfectly still beneath her, patiently waiting for her to adjust to him as he massages her hips with his thumbs. Olivia begins to move, her hands slide along his forearms to grip them for stability.

"You're so, _so_ good to me." She gazes down at him with a soft smile, biting on her lower lip. "So patient. So loving…"

It's then that she leans down to kiss him because she _needs_ to, claiming his mouth with hers so passionately it makes him growl deep in his throat.

Their lovemaking is sensual and slow. They never stop kissing, even when they're both breathless, panting, gasping for air and falling apart together. Their lips finally part when they're sated and sweaty, basking in their post-coital glow. His arms fold her into his chest and he sighs contentedly, breathing in the scent of her hair.

"Missed holding you."

It breaks her heart a little to hear him say it. She pulls her head out of the crook of his neck and lifts her hand up to cup his jaw.

"I wish you'd told me you were feeling like this."

His eyes drift open and he stares at her for a long moment. "Sometimes I just feel like I don't want to scare you away."

"I know… I'm sorry." She murmurs, her expression tainted with guilt. "I don't want you to be walking on eggshells around me, we're in this together and we should be communicating better than this."

"Yeah, we should."

"I love you, okay? I know I don't say it often, but I do." She pauses, breathing out unsteadily as she caresses his cheek with her thumb. "I want you to be able to believe me when I tell you that I'm not going to run."

"I do–"

"You _don't_ and it's okay, I understand why."

He sighs deeply, flattening his palms against the base of her back. "I want to, Liv. I thought that finally being able to build a life with you and wake up next to you almost every day…"

"You thought all those fears would disappear."

"I feel stupid."

"You're not stupid. You're idealistic and that's not a bad thing."

"Sure." Fitz scoffs, rolling his eyes.

" _Hey_ –" Olivia pinches his chin between her thumb and forefinger to make him meet her gaze. "I love that about you, Fitz. You have all these dreams and sometimes I brush you off because they don't seem tangible, but you prove me wrong."

"Not always."

"No, but you built our house in Vermont and you said one day we'd live there together, and now we do." She says softly but can see from the look in his eyes he's still not convinced. "Just because it's not exactly how you dreamed it would be doesn't mean it's wrong or bad. We've still got time – a _lifetime together_. We'll work at this and figure it out."

He exhales a muted sigh, "You're right, of course you're right."

"I always am." A gentle smile touches her lips but there's still sadness and deeprooted concern in her eyes.

"I meant what I said before, we should start by taking some time off. Maybe we could fly out to Santa Barbara for a long weekend."

"Sounds perfect." She skims a hand over his chest as she exhales contentedly. "God, I really needed that."

"Sex?"

"Mmm. I missed it."

"Yeah? Me too." He pauses for a moment, threading his fingers in her hair. "How was it? Did I hurt y–"

" _No_." She immediately cuts him off, not allowing that thought to take root in his head. "It was uncomfortable at first, I've been really tense lately but you made me feel so good."

He's silent for a moment and then he announces quietly, "I'm gonna cancel my basketball game in the afternoon."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm, I haven't been taking good enough care of you and you deserve to be pampered. So… Tomorrow I'm going to give you a long-overdue massage, then later, you and I can go for dinner at that French bistro you love."

"Good food and even better sex? Sign me up."

"Who said anything about sex?" A look of faux innocence spreads across Fitz's face.

"You really thought you could get me naked, put your hands all over me, and _not_ make me come?" Olivia's tongue brushes at the corner of her lips and she fixes him with a skeptical glare. "It's not fair to tease me like that, baby."

He flips her onto her back, softly pinning her beneath him. "You love it. Don't tell me you don't."

Her eyes roll but she can't suppress the soft sigh that sounds from her throat when his lips caress her neck.

"You wanna go again?"

"It's late…" She wriggles free from his embrace and lingers in the doorway to the bathroom in all her naked glory. " _But_ you could join me in the shower, if you want to."

A wolfish grin tugs at the corners of his mouth as he leaps out of bed, prowling towards her. Before she even has a chance to turn the water on he pounces on her; her airy giggles that he's missed hearing fill every inch of him with warmth and adoration.

As she loops her arms around his neck and lets him press her against the tiled wall with feverish kisses, one thought runs through his mind: _God,_ _I can't wait to marry you._

* * *

 _ **A/N: I hope this was a sweeter dose of the Olitz we all love so much! Please let me know your thoughts, hopes for their future in this universe, even prompts are welcome. I'd love to hear them!**_


	10. It Ends With Us: VI

He'd planned to wait.

He'd wanted to hold off until her birthday, in January, but now just feels _so_ _right_.

It's Christmas – their first Christmas in Vermont together – and he's woken with her curled up in his arms, sleeping peacefully with the most serene, content expression on her face. The urge to propose is so strong, it's _palpable_. He can feel it in the way his heart swells in his chest when he looks at her.

He can't wait any longer.

"Livvie," Fitz whispers, stroking his fingertips along her jawline as he watches her begin to stir. "Livvie, wake up."

Olivia grumbles something unintelligible and buries her face against his chest.

"Baby, wake up." He utters through a smile, edging back to look at her. "I have something to ask you."

"Can't it wait?" Her voice is still thick with sleep, her eyes are screwed shut tight.

"Hmmm... You know, I'm not sure it can. I've been waiting over a decade to ask you properly." He watches her brows furrow and she peeks out of one eye at him.

"What?" She snaps, her annoyance only makes his lips twitch with a smirk.

"Will you marry me?"

Her eyes immediately fly wide open and she pulls back, mouth agape, studying him for any hint of sarcasm.

" _What?_ "

"Marry me, Olivia."

"You're serious? You're _actually_ serious?"

He doesn't immediately answer her. Instead, he swings his legs out from between the sheets and sits on the edge of the bed to search the top drawer of his nightstand. When he turns back to her with an antique ring box in his palm, a sudden wave emotion overwhelms her and she's blinking back tears as she sits up next to him.

"I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you. There were moments when I didn't think that would happen and when I thought you didn't want it either, but now I know. I want nothing more than to be able to call you my wife."

"Fitz…" Olivia's lips part with a trembling gasp and he pulls her left hand into his, lightly caressing her bare ring finger with his thumb.

"Will you marry me?" Fitz asks for the third time and she realizes she still hasn't given him an answer.

"Yes. _Yes._ " Her voice is barely a whisper as she closes the distance between them, capturing his lips with her and kissing him lovingly.

When they part and she laughs through tears, he flips open the box to reveal the most exquisite engagement ring sitting inside. The thin, pale gold band is framed perfectly by a stormy blue diamond, lined with smaller white diamonds either side. It's delicate and understated enough to wear alongside _Doux B_ _é_ _b_ _é_ without it being too much for her taste, but the clarity of the diamonds steals the breath from her lungs.

"Do you like it?" He asks quietly, taking the ring from the box to slide it down the third finger of her left hand.

"I _love_ it, Fitz." She grins at him, barely able to tear her eyes from the way the diamonds catch the light. "Why blue?"

"I had always wanted something unique for you and I spent so many hours looking at different diamonds, but as soon as I saw this one I just knew." Fitz watches her examine the ring in wonder as he speaks. "It hadn't even occurred to me that it matches my eyes until Abby pointed it out."

Olivia's gaze snaps up to meet his, "Abby knew?"

"Yeah," A rueful smile tugs at the corners of his lips. "She came by my office a couple weeks ago, ready to kick my ass until I showed her the ring."

"Oh, uh… That may have been my fault. She and I had _way_ too much to drink the night you were away for that benefit in Atlanta. She asked how things were between us and I just couldn't keep it in, I blame therapy." She explains with a quiet laugh, shaking her head gently. "I told her I thought you'd reconsidered wanting to marry me."

"There was never a doubt in my mind that this is what I wanted. Why would you think that, Liv?"

"It had just been so long since we'd talked about it and then… And then there was the miscarriage." It's still hard to even say the word to him without feeling broken, but they're both healing and it's slowly getting easier each day. "I figured that you may have had a change of heart."

"God, no. _Never_. I wanted to take my time working with the ring designer to get it perfect and then…" He pauses, tenderly cupping her jaw. "I was just waiting for the right moment."

"I love you." She exhales softly, leaning into his touch to kiss him soundly on the lips.

When Fitz slides his hands down her back to grasp her hips, pulling her into his lap, Olivia giggles into his mouth. They're quick to strip out of their pajamas, eagerly exploring every inch of newly exposed skin as if this is their first time, but then, when they're naked and she's pinned beneath him, they slow things down. He feels her lips curve against his as she smiles into their kisses, humming low in her throat. Her fingertips trace lightly down his spine and she digs her nails in his ass, pulling him closer, hugging her thighs tighter around his hips.

"I can't wait for you to be Olivia Grant." He murmurs as he dips down to kiss her throat.

"Hmmm… How about _Pope-Grant_?"

When he lifts his head he's wearing the most elated grin and it makes her heart flutter in her ribcage.

"I'll take it."

* * *

After they've worn themselves out with the slowest, most passionate sex and fallen asleep for a couple more hours, they end up in the shower together, _of course_. They find their way back into bed and Olivia eventually has to _order_ Fitz to leave her to get ready, knowing they'll never get up otherwise.

He's tending to the stove when she joins him in the kitchen, hugging him from behind and standing on the tips of her toes to kiss the back of his neck.

"Smells good." She hums in approval as she strokes his abs teasingly through his shirt.

"It'll be ready soon."

"I wasn't talking about the food, mister."

A smirk twitches at the corners of his mouth. "As I recall _you_ kicked me out of our room earlier, when I would've gladly stayed in bed with you all day…"

"It's our first real Christmas together, we're not wasting it."

He turns in her arms, grinning widely at her. "I wouldn't say any time spent making you come is _wasted_."

Her cheeks flush a little but she remains firm on the subject. "You and I are getting married. We'll have all the time in the world to spend together, wasted or not."

Being reminded of their engagement makes his heart soar in his chest and his smile widens even more. "Point taken."

"After breakfast let's go for a walk with Buddy and when we come back we can have dinner, then tonight you and I can open a bottle of wine, get cozy by the fire," She pauses briefly and her gaze darkens; she bites her lower lip teasingly, sliding a hand down to squeeze his ass. "And pick up where we left off earlier."

"Mmm," He hums, leaning in to brush his lips against hers. "I like the sound of that plan."

They get lost in each other for a moment, kissing over and over because they can't get enough. It's only when the smoky smell of sizzling bacon draws her out of the moment.

"You're burning something." She tries to break away, but he moves with her, chasing her lips.

"Don't care."

She giggles and indulges him, letting him pin her up against the counter and kiss her a little longer.

* * *

Olivia watches on in amusement as Buddy takes off, sprinting across the clearing before Fitz has even had a chance to let go of the snowball in his hand. When Buddy stops and tilts his head back to them in confusion, Fitz swings his arm back and pretends to throw the snowball for him.

"You're so mean, stop tormenting him!" She says through laughter as Buddy runs ahead again, expecting to catch a snowball that never comes.

A dark grin spreads across Fitz's face. "You know I don't have to throw it at _him,_ right?"

"Don't you dare! I'm not even wearing gloves, I can't defend myself!" She's already backing away from him with her hands raised, but he's prowling towards her with the most devilish glint in his eyes.

"That's your own fault. Why did you think it was a good idea to leave the house in the middle of winter without gloves? You _always_ wear gloves!" His teasing stops abruptly when she averts her gaze from his, embarrassed. "What?"

"It's nothing." She toes the snow on the ground, still avoiding eye contact with him. Out of her peripheral vision, she sees him drop the snowball at his feet, effectively disarming himself.

"Tell me. Why are you being coy?"

She sighs, knowing there's a chance he'll let this go now, so she relents, "I just didn't want to cover my engagement ring up yet."

There's a beat of silence and then he strides forward, easily scooping her up in his arms and locking her thighs around his hips, forcing her to meet his gaze. There's nothing but warmth and love in his eyes and in spite of her embarrassment, she can't help but smile back at him.

"You're goddamn adorable, you know that?"

She doesn't get a moment to respond because he's already kissing her, sucking at her bottom lip fervently. Her right hand winds into the curls at the nape of his neck and her left hand slides down his front. Their lips eventually part when the need for oxygen becomes too much; she sighs contentedly, pressing her forehead against his.

"I don't want to wait, Fitz."

"Hmmm?"

Her gaze drifts to the ring on her finger, resting against his chest, then back up to his face. "I don't want a long, drawn-out engagement. Let's get married soon."

A blinding grin tugs at the corners of his mouth the moment the words leave her lips. "I was hoping you'd want that, too."

She's leaning back in to kiss him when they're rudely interrupted by Buddy, reminding them of his presence with a loud bark.

"I think the _other_ love of my life might be a little jealous." A tiny laugh escapes her as he sets her back on the ground, but not before he steals another kiss.

Fitz bends down to scoop more snow into his gloved hands, pressing it into his palms until he forms a ball to throw and Buddy is delighted to have all of their attention once again, excitedly leaping around in front of them. This time Fitz throws the snowball, launching it across the clearing.

* * *

By the time they've returned from their walk, the sun has set and they've played with Buddy enough to tire him out, so he retreats to his basket in their office. Finally alone in their living room, Olivia winds her arms around Fitz's neck and she kisses him sweetly until he grinds his hips purposefully against hers, softly biting her bottom lip.

"I want you again."

"You are _insatiable_ today!"

"C'mon, I'll make it worth your while." He declares with a ridiculous, suggestive wiggle of his brows that she can't help but giggle at.

"Save it for later, mister. _You_ have a dinner to cook." She prods his chest playfully. "You promised me the best roast beef I've ever eaten, so you better deliver."

"And what are you going to do in the meantime?"

"I'm going to call my dad. Tell him the news."

"Okay, tell him I say hello." A genuine smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. In the most bizarre turn of events, he and Eli have actually managed to form some kind of a dysfunctional _friendship._

"I will." She presses her lips to his one last time before leaving him to prepare their dinner.

* * *

Following a long evening of overindulging on delicious food and a few glasses of wine by the Christmas tree, Fitz is snoozing on the couch. As Olivia watches him softly snoring she _almost_ lets him continue to nap, but she has other plans for them in mind. She tiptoes into the room and pulls his hand into hers, gently waking him with sweet kisses dotted over his knuckles.

"Baby, wake up. I wanna give you your present."

His eyes slowly drift open and a crooked, lazy grin tugs at his lips as he weaves their fingers together, blinking blearily.

"I thought we agreed, no presents?" He murmurs, his voice thick with sleep.

"And how well did that go on _your_ side of the deal?" She quirks a brow, lifting her left hand in front of her face and wiggling the finger now adorned by her sparkling engagement ring.

"But I didn't exactly plan to propose today, it just happened..." His eyes roll playfully, matching the boyish smirk spreading across his face.

"Fine, I don't have to give you your gift." She teases him and turns to step away, but doesn't get far due to their still linked hands; he tugs her back until she's sitting in his lap.

"What did you get me?"

"I'm not sure you deserve it."

"Livvie, please, I want it."

His bottom lip juts out dramatically, giving him an appearance of youthfulness that, in that moment, makes him look more like Teddy than she's ever noticed before and her heart melts. She lightly pinches his chin between her thumb and fingers, narrowing her eyes into a glare.

"Only if you stop pouting."

He immediately raises his brows, feigning a look of innocence as he struggles to suppress a smile. She moves onto her knees and straddles his thighs, then clasps her hands around his wrists and guides his hands to the belt of her black silk robe.

"You get to unwrap me." The sultry purr of her voice makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

His fingers slowly work open the belt, revealing a tiny red lingerie set underneath. She revels in the way his gaze is transfixed at the sight of her body, roaming over the delicate lace of her thong to her dark, erect nipples peeking through her sheer bra. There's something about how he looks at her with the same awe and hunger in his eyes as he did a decade ago that leaves her breathless.

After a full minute of his staring, she interrupts the silence softly. "What do you think?"

"It's uh… Very festive." He clears his throat as he runs a fingertip under the suspender clip attached to her matching red stockings.

"I chose it for a reason, baby."

"Well, it's fucking sexy."

She smiles, "I'm glad you approve, though that wasn't the _only_ reason. There's something special about it."

"Yeah?" He slides his hands behind her to cup her ass and dips his head to line her throat with open-mouthed kisses.

"It's Italian. And..." Her fingertips find their way into the tousled curls at the back of his head as she sighs out, distracted by the sensation of his lips and teeth on her neck.

"And?" He smirks against her flushed skin, amused at her inability to focus when he's kissing her like that.

She arches her back, leaning away from him. "And in three days, after Karen and Teddy's visit, you and I are flying out to celebrate the New Year in Venice."

"You planned this?"

"Mmhm."

"It's about time we had a vacation together, thank you Livvie."

"You don't have to thank me. Just kiss me. Make love to me." She leans in close to brush her lips against his ear, then whispers lowly, " _Voglio sentirti sulla mia pelle_."

A jolt of electricity runs up his spine at the sound of her breathy, seductive voice, saying god-knows-what in Italian. Hearing her talk dirty in another language is the most dizzying form of foreplay and he groans deep in his chest; she's more than aware of how arousing it is for him, his jeans are stretched tight with an aching erection that she can feel pressing against the inside of her thigh.

"Sei bellissimo…" Olivia pauses to pull his ear lobe between her teeth, nipping softly as she guides his hand under the waistband of her panties. "Sono tutta bagnata."

"Fuck," Fitz pants unevenly, pulse racing when she slowly rocks her hips over his fingertips, letting him feel how wet she is. "I didn't know you spoke Italian."

"Not really. I spent a summer in Tuscany when I was twenty." She pauses and reaches for the collar of his shirt, taking her time to unbutton it to admire his muscular torso. "I met a boy. He taught me the basics…"

"All the dirty words?"

"Uh huh."

"What else did he teach you?"

Slowly, a smile edges onto her face. "He taught me the joys of skinnydipping and oral sex… Not necessarily in that order."

Her fingertips dance over his well-defined abs, unhurriedly committing every inch of his body to memory. A breathy giggle escapes her lips when she finally lifts her head and her eyes lock onto his dazed expression.

"What?"

"Why have we never been skinnydipping?"

She laughs again, "Well, _Mr. President_ , we've never been anywhere private enough that it wouldn't cause an international _scandal_."

"Hmmm… We need to change that." He muses as he caresses his thumb over her clit, smirking at the way her hips jerk involuntarily. "Just how soon do you want to get married?"

"Oh _god_. I – uh… One month, two max."

"Wow, that is quick." He can't stop the blinding grin from spreading ear to ear. "You weren't kidding, huh?"

Her palms run down his bare torso and clasp around his wrist, then she pulls his hand from her panties and lifts it to her lips. His jaw clenches and eyes darken with lust when she sucks his fingers into her mouth to taste herself, releasing them from her lips with an audible pop.

"Too fast?"

" _No_ , because the sooner we're married, the sooner we can go on our honeymoon." Fitz bites his bottom lip, pupils dilating with growing desire when she places his hand on one of her breasts. "And I want to fuck my wife on a beach and make her forget all about Italian boys."

The way he pinches her hardened nipple between his thumb and forefinger makes her inhale a sharp gasp. She has to grip his shoulder with one hand as she reaches behind him, tangling her fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck. His lips, tongue and teeth trail a path down her chest; her brain shortcircuits when he sucks her other nipple through the sheer fabric and bites softly.

When she grinds deep into his lap, rocking against his erection to create some much-needed friction between them, the warm pressure of her body writhing against his is too much and he stills her hips with a firm hand.

"Livvie," Fitz sighs out unevenly, brows furrowing. "You're gonna make me come in my pants if you keep that up…"

With a dark smirk, Olivia slides out of his lap and kneels between his feet. While he peels his shirt off, his belt is quickly snapped open and jeans unfastened with dexterous fingers; her manicured nails scratch his hipbones as she strips him until he's gloriously naked before her.

"Tell me what you want." She purrs lowly, eyes flitting between his aching erection and the look of desperation and hunger on his face.

Her sultry voice makes goosebumps rise on his skin. Before he can answer she leans in close, swiping her tongue along the underside of his cock, then swirling it around the tip as she wraps a hand around him.

"Fuck," He groans breathily, hips twitching as she takes him deep in her throat. "Liv… Livvie… _Stop_."

The neediness in his voice makes her ease back, doe eyes gazing up at him.

"Let me taste you."

"I'm supposed to be seducing _you_."

"Liv, I'm already naked."

"You know what I mean, I want to give you pleasure."

"Going down on _you_ gives _me_ pleasure." He declares boldly and lifts her onto the couch, positioning her so that her head is on the armrest. "You can't wear something like this and expect me to _not_ want to go down on you…"

A shiver runs through her when his fingers loosen the satin ties resting on her hips. He doesn't even give her a chance to catch her breath as he tosses her panties aside and immediately takes her into his mouth, spreading her wide apart to french kiss her clit. The air is stolen from her lungs but then she gasps sharply, arching her back and the most intense, breathy moans start coming from her parted lips. He feels an overwhelming surge of pride knowing that it's all because of him; that nobody can ever – or _will ever_ – make her fall apart like this.

He eats her out until she's trembling and crying out his name, gripping fistfuls of his hair tightly. And then he stops. Her brows furrow and she half sobs in frustration, half laughs in spite of herself. He _loves_ to play with her like this, coaxing her right to the edge, holding her orgasm just out of reach.

" _Baby_ ," Olivia whines breathlessly, tugging gently at his hair. "C'mon, please."

"Speak more Italian to me." Fitz requests, biting her inner thigh playfully.

"I don't – I can't even think straight…"

"I'm not going to make you come until you do, Livvie."

She can tell from the darkening glint in his eyes that he means every word. He blows cool air teasingly over her center, making her hips spasm.

" _Sono pazzo di te!_ " She whispers, eyes sliding shut immediately when he sucks her clit back into his mouth. "God, Fitz–"

His tongue swirls and rolls over her, just the way she likes it. He's _relentless_. His gaze lifts to lock on her expression just as she starts to come. Her lips part soundlessly and her back arches, then she _screams_ and gasps and writhes through it uncontrollably; it's nothing less than a privilege for him, being able to watch her so uninhibited and out of control, in a moment of complete intimacy with him.

He's the luckiest man on earth, he's absolutely certain of it.

"C'mere..." She murmurs softly, moaning low in her throat when his palms slide up her stomach and fingertips caress her nipples through her lingerie.

"You're so sexy when you come, you know that?" He asks as he crawls up on top of her, unhooking the clasp in the front of her bra to finally expose her breasts to his hungry stare. "Mmm… Love your boobs."

His comment makes her giggle breathily and she wraps her legs around his hips to draw him closer. As he settles between her thighs, he groans at the feeling of her so hot and wet against his length.

Her lips graze along his jawline and her tongue darts out to trace the shell of his reddened ear. " _Facciamo l'amore_ …"

Fitz doesn't need any more reason to be turned on, but Olivia's sultry voice whispering Italian in his ear again makes his cock throb. With a shift of his hips, he slowly enters her slick heat and rests his forehead against her shoulder, panting unsteadily for a moment.

There's no more talking from that point. Fitz is too far gone to do anything but grunt hotly against her neck and Olivia can't even string a sentence together now that he's inside her. He'd had every intention of taking her slowly, dragging it out and doing all the things to make her toes curl, but when these needy little whimpers start sounding from her throat he can't hold back. The moment his hips snap forward roughly, her lips part with a deep groan and she scratches at his back.

It's animalistic and raw in the best way. She lets him dominate her; he fucks into her, gripping her hips so tight she knows she's going to be discovering bruises in the morning. A shudder runs through her and she inhales sharply when he dips lower, pressing against her g-spot and grinding against her clit with every thrust.

She grips his shoulders, digging her nails into his taut muscles. When she comes hard, moaning feverishly, he feels a rush of wetness as she clenches tighter around him.

He bites her neck possessively when he climaxes, marking her, _claiming_ her.

 _Mine._

"Mmm… All yours." Olivia agrees in a dazed murmur, reading his thoughts.

* * *

Later, they're tucked up in bed together, talking in hushed murmurs as they fight to stay awake just a little longer.

"My dad told me what you did," Olivia announces casually as she caresses her fingertips along his jaw. Even in the dim light, she can see his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline.

"What I did…?" Fitz repeats, a mild wave of panic washing over him. "What did I do?"

Her lips twitch with a faint smile. "You asked for his blessing."

"Oh right. That."

" _Fitz._ I can't believe you did that."

He shrugs with an air of nonchalance as if it's nothing. "I would've proposed regardless."

"I know…" She concurs quietly, eyes shining with emotion. "But you still asked."

"You never said it, but I knew that it was important to you." Under the covers, he traces circles on her lower back. He watches as a soft frown creases her forehead. "What?"

"I just–" She hesitates, catching her lip between her teeth. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Let go of everything he's done to you… To Jerry."

He breathes out a deep, tired sigh. "Haven't you had enough of holding onto so much bitterness and hate over things you can't change?"

"I just – I can't fathom it…"

"Livvie, as much as I hate the things he did, I love you _more_. And I know that even if he has a really twisted way of showing it sometimes, he loves you too."

Olivia blinks back tears as Fitz leans in closer, pressing his lips to her forehead in a gentle kiss.

"I have to admit I'm surprised he agreed." She murmurs after a while, absentmindedly toying with the hairs on his chest.

A soft laugh vibrates from his chest. "Me too."

"Were you nervous?"

"No." He scoffs, and then she fixes him with a skeptical look. "Okay, a _little_. But nothing was ever going to stand in my way of me asking you to be my wife."

There's a second that the word 'wife' hangs between them and they both break into matching giddy smiles at the reminder that this is real.

"This has been the best Christmas, you know that? You make me so happy." Olivia whispers as if she's sharing a secret with him.

"Mmm, likewise." Fitz hums in agreement and cuddles closer to her, circling his arms tighter around her waist.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for you to ask me to marry you."

"Oh Livvie, trust me, I _know_." A sleepy smile touches his lips as his eyes finally drift to a close. "I've wanted to hear you say 'yes' like that since the day we met."

* * *

 _ **A/N: This was totally overindulgent fluff, but I'm not sorry lol. I hope you liked it! Also for anybody interested, I'll post the Italian translations on my Tumblr (makingjaminvermont). Happy holidays!**_


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